Say “sayanora, sweetheart!” to 2023 ‘cos it’s almost over and folks already have their 2024 predictions, including us! As PEDESTRIAN.TV’s resident astrologer, I’ve pulled together the 2024 horoscopes so that each star sign can see what they’re in for this year, according to astrology.
But wait, that’s not all!
I have some further predictions for the new year that are less geared by actual planetary movements and more so just trend forecasts based on the personality traits of each sign.
In case you’re wondering about my credentials here, I’m an astrologer with over 10 years in the game and I’ve just released my first astrology book How to Spot the (Star) Signs. So I guess you could say I know my shit!
Buckle up and prepare yourself for the chaos…
Me devising the 2024 horoscopes.
2024 horoscopes and astrology predictions
ARIES
INS:
-Making your own coffee. Aries babes live on a steady diet of caffeine and with the rising cost of coffee, it’s about time you invest in a coffee machine of your own.
-Date nights at peculiar locations, ‘cos bars and restaurants are getting boring.
-Picking your battles, you can’t fight all of them!
-Addressing past traumas. Enough said.
-Answering to no one but your dog/cat.
OUTS:
-Putting work over play.
-Overdoing it at pres.
-Accepting half-assed apologies — if you think someone’s full of shit, call them on it!
-Having to be the best at everything. Just do you, boo. Stop comparing yourself to others.
-Pandering to authority figures. Again, you only answer to your dog/cat.
TAURUS
INS:
-Buying that sweater in every colour.
-Calling people on their toxic behaviour.
-Takings naps when shit hits the fan.
-Investing more time and money on 
self-care
-Cancelling plans if you’re not feeling it.
OUTS:
-Feeling bad about spending money. You werk hard for those dollarydoos, spend away!
-Watching unfunny TikToks your mate sends daily.
-Holding grudges.
-Sharing your snacks with others, especially people who won’t contribute their own treats to the collective.
-The pressure to get dressed up. If casual attire isn’t accepted, then it’s a Taurus-free event.
GEMINI
INS:
-Living life like ur the third Olsen twin.
-Re-reading old journal entries to track your ~*growth*~. It’s time you learned to embrace the wreckage of your past!
-Telling dad jokes (you’ve always done this, but be more unapologetic about it!)
-Befriending your friend’s friends. Expand your circle of pals, bb!
-Quitting hobby groups you’re no longer vibing with.
OUTS:
-Letting people know your next move — keep it on the DL!
-Feeling bad about changing your mind. You are an air sign, after all.
-Ghosting (just say you’re not keen!).
-Pretending you hadn’t already heard the goss.
-Suppressing your twin sign tendencies.
CANCER
INS:
-Carrying a book with you everywhere.
-Collecting grudges like trophies.
-Accepting you can’t fix everyone. Stop dating fixer-uppers!
-Staying home as much as poss. Seriously, become a recluse. The outside world is a cesspit!
-Frequent social media breaks. If the ‘gram/tok is making you feel like shit, then it’s time to opt out.
OUTS:
-Ignoring red flags — stop turning a blind eye to suss behaviour!
-Sharing your space.
-Elaborate travel plans (staycations ftw).
-Spending time with your mate’s shit mates.
-Being an empath to your detriment. You’re one of the most emotionally intelligent signs of the zodiac, start acting like it!
LEO
INS:
-Going to gigs on weeknights.
-Replying to every IG Story as if it’s meant for you.
-Ordering Uber Eats to random locations.
-Accepting your toxic behaviours and stamping them out.
-Overriding negative mems with positive ones. Laugh in the places where you once cried!
OUTS:
-Feeling the need to carry the group chat.
-Stressing over aesthetics.
-Photo dumps (post as much as ya want!!).
-Obligatory relationships.
-Having guilty pleasures… live ur life!
VIRGO
INS:
-Bragging about your achievements. Seriously, scream that shit from the rooftops!
-Horny crushes (especially at werk).
-Cutting people off for sport.
-Work becoming your happy place rather than a vicious hellscape.
-Letting people help you clean — you can’t resent your loved ones for never assisting in the clean up if ya don’t bloody let them.
OUTS:
-Agreeing to shit just to keep the peace.
-Setting yourself unattainable goals.
-Correcting spelling and grammar… let ‘em figure it out.
-Sharing the glory.
-Reading the same book on a loop (at least add a new one to the rotation!).
LIBRA
INS:
-Basing your entire personality off your favourite fictional character.
-Being unapologetically late.
-Holding hands in public.
-Replying with only emojis.
-Doing the work (more of that in your 2024 horoscopes!)
OUTS:
-Assuming everyone is mad at you.
-Unsending messages bc you made a typo. You said what you said!
-Being ashamed of your pretty privilege.
-Calling everyone ‘bestie’… not everyone is deserving of that title.
-Doing things for the ‘gram/tok.
SCORPIO
INS:
-Leaning into your spooky Scorpio traits.
-Demanding loyalty from your mates.
-Dressing like a ‘90s witch.
-Scheduling mandatory alone time.
-Dancing on your enemies’ graves.
OUTS:
-Bottling up emotions.
-Fake smiling.
-Torturing urself by replaying painful memories in ur head like a horror movie.
-Existential thoughts.
-Feeling sorry for urself. The victim mentality is getting old and you know it!
SAGITTARIUS
INS:
-Hijacking the music at kick ons. You know your taste is far superior to anyone else’s!
-Making all convos about you.
-Vibing on your own (movies, dinners, park hangs etc).
-Booking flights and hoping for the best.
-Printing out pics and hanging them up.
OUTS:
-Having to explain shit to fools who don’t get it.
-Shouting bevs for people who won’t get the next round.
-Feeling FOMO.
-Running away from your problems.
-Being on an 11 all the time.
CAPRICORN
INS:
-Manifesting a pay rise
-Rattling off your résumé at random.
-Expressing your disappointment.
-Sending your loved ones a list of your wants and needs.
-Making your housemates get up early with you.
OUTS:
-Being in charge of planning the group’s holiday.
-Judgement-free zones.
-Proofreading everyone’s documents for them.
-Self-sabotage.
-Hiding your dislike of *certain people*.
AQUARIUS
INS:
-Openly admitting that you’re hot.
-The Do Not Disturb function.
-Heckling your mates who wear fast fashion.
-Making a dent in the movies/books/shows you wanna suss before you die.
-Feeling feelings.
OUTS:
-Humouring people with shit opinions. Just cut that shit off.
-Keeping undesirables from your past on social media.
-Stifling your weirdness.
-Watching mainstream garbage bc ur mates like it.
-Having people treat ur stuff like their personal library.
PISCES
INS:
-Embracing the delulu.
-Parasocial crushes.
-Writing every single thing down.
-Unapologetically crying in public.
-Keeping your headphones in at all times to tune out the world.
OUTS:
-Listening to unsolicited advice.
-Being ignored in the group chat.
-The pressure to give speedy replies (4-5 business days is fine).
-Being humble.
-Digital communication (let’s bring back love notes!).
Whatever trend you end up following in 2024, I hope it’s spectacular!
Matty Galea is the Managing Editor of PEDESTRIAN.TV, as well as our resident astrologer. He’s just released his first astrology book titled How To Spot The (Star) Signs. You can find him on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok.
