I don’t mean to alarm you but something very exciting happens in the MAFS 2024 recap for Episode 28. We saw it in the trailers and I’m so fucking excited to see how it all plays out. Let’s tuck in!
If you thought Jayden‘s red suit was bad, just wait until you cop a load of what he’s wearing tonight, no doubt from the Gold Coast Palazzo Versace’s gift shop before it rebranded.
Eden is blindfolding him with his own hair and in a cost-of-living crisis, who am I to judge budget kinks?
Timothy and Lucinda are now just a barrel of laughs and it’s very damn cute. Timothy wants to own up to the letter they sent Tori and Jack, knowing that Jack will have just weaselled his way out of the drama like he does everything else.
“He’s got enough bronzer on to slide our of any situation doesn’t he?”. Timothy ya savage! I love it.
Andrea has written something out for Dicky and demands seven minutes of his undivided and uninterrupted attention.
She believes that he is huffing and puffing while listening to this, but he doesn’t think that, and tells Andie that she’s “gaslighting” him.
Oh, wow. She slams her 97c Kmart Exercise Book down, points at Dicky and yells at him for driving her “crazy”.
She then tells him that he is far worse than her exes and this has really stung.
I don’t know much about Andie’s exes, only that she ditched one as a result of watching MAFS and that Dicky believes her walls are stemming from these past relationships.
It’s dinner party time and it’s nice to see Jayden and Timothy now bonding when a few weeks ago they couldn’t stand each other. The only thing that trumps hatred for one another is a bigger hatred for someone else: Jack.
Anyone else LIVING for cheeky Lucinda? I hate that word, usually designated for creepy uncles, but it seems really fitting here and my I can’t be fucked looking up synonyms on Google.
Considering Lauren‘s sick and Sara‘s been naughty, Timothy has found a new gossip circle with Eden and Jade.
Sara walks into a frosty reception, and it’s not just because Timothy has replaced her in the gossip tripod.
Um, Lucinda and Timothy are a fucking vibe tonight. Like they cannot stop laughing and I love this for them. Timothy tells her she turned into a cow, struggling to not laugh while he says it.
“It’s all your fault,” she laughs.
“I like the new bad Lucinda,” Timothy says.
Watching all the laughing that’s going down, Tori has picked up that Timothy and his smug face are definitely behind the letter she and Jack received.
It’s dinner time.
“I can just feel some real awks and dorks on this table,” Lucinda says, before confirming she and Timothy are behind the letter.
Tori’s fucking off it and at this point, I don’t know if she has any other moods.
She says that her sex life is no one’s business “and will remain no ones business” — and that the three-way (phone call) with Jack’s ex is not happening. Refresher: these were things that were requested of them in the anonymous letter.
Tori and Jayden are battling it out over god know’s what. Jayden’s desperation for airtime at this point is more obvious than his distaste for cheating.
Jade has jumped in to tell Tori that during their meet-up, Jack told her he would’ve slept with his wife by now if she was more his type.
“Boom,” says Timothy, which is basically translation for “told ya so”. God knows his smug face isn’t welcome here.
Jack keeps trying to tell Timothy that Tori thinks he is a joke, and Tori has located her spine and is pissed off at Jack for interrupting her.
“I’ve got nothing but respect for Tori but I’m just concerned he’s just just toying with her and we can all see through it,” Timothy tells producers. I mean, I don’t believe him considering she was so nasty to him at a previous MAFS dinner party, but go off king.
Jonathan jumps in to tell Tori he feels bad for her and she shuts him up. Wow! Our poor well-meaning Jono whose entire 0.2 seconds of airtime tonight was cut short.
“If I felt like I was being played for a dickhead, trust me, I would have been gone weeks ago,” she tells the table and ooft, the tapes are going to be hard for her to watch back at the MAFS Reunion.
OK, hear me out. Tori is being very defensive and condescending for someone who has a whole table telling her they’re concerned about her partner. If this were me, and I only saw a great person standing beside me, I’d be genuinely curious to know what they’re seeing that I’m not.
But not Tori! She’s fired up! Makes me think she knows exactly what she’s doing and sees what we all see. I don’t think this is a case of rose-coloured glasses but rather one of strategy.
It’s time to figure out why Dicky and Andrea came to the MAFS dinner party separately tonight.
Dicky tells the table that his conversations with Andrea have gotten “nasty” and that her previous relationships are causing issues in her current one.
Andrea disagrees and thinks it’s mainly a breakdown in their communication with one another.
Dicky thinks that communication block is a result of the past trauma.
“Some of the things that she said to me are very hurtful, very rude, very disrespectful, as if I am her ex,” he says.
“Don’t say that!” Andrea slams the table. “For fuck’s sake.”
Lucinda very delicately asks if there’s any accountability Dicky could take in the breakdown of this relationship.
He says he understands he’s a bit robust. He feels exhausted and wants to get the relationship back to where it was, and Andrea says she doesn’t want to fight anymore.
They’re holding hands but I don’t know, guys, he seems very fucking deflated and she seems very fucking angry now.
Tim and Sara share that they’re going well and Jayden, our anti-cheating protestor, will not be having any of it.
“Tim, run for the hills man,” Jayden says. He and Ridge both suggest to Tim that he leaves the experiment.
Tim asks them to respect his and Sara’s decision to try and make it work. Hot! But also tragic.
He’s finally seeing “warmth” from Sara, which is sad considering it’s the result of her lying to you and making you look silly.
Who else seems to be closer than the last dinner party? Lucinda and Timothy, of course. Even Tori can notice it, which it pains her to say.
“I’ll be the bigger person,” Tori tells the happy couple.
“I’ve figured out that I have some problems,” Timothy tells the group.
“I don’t have my shit together like I thought I did. Little bit broken. But, you know, Lucinda’s actually broken down those walls,” he continues.
“You’re doing it yourself, it’s nothing to do with me,” Lucinda assures him. Dying from the cuteness.
“It’s different,” Timothy explains. “I feel things a little bit more than I normally would.”
“I am loving the unravelling of this gorgeous creature,” Lucinda tells the table. “He’s such a gorgeous man,” she says, looking at him before pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek.
Then he puts his head to the side, and they kiss on the lips!
THE LIPS, PEOPLE.
THEY KISSED.
MUM AND DAD KISSED!
WHY AM I CRYING?!
Eden asks them to do it again and normally I would classify that as immature, but I too want them to kiss another five times while I watch. There, I said it! I’m a creep for Lucimothy!
“That’s a leap for those old dogs!” Tristan says.
“It shocked me a bit but it was divine,” Lucinda tells producers. “Utterly divine.”
“Anything that comes from Tim feels really true at this point. And that is so meaningful because it’s from his heart,” Lucinda cries.
Oh fuck the music has changed and now I’m nervous. Timothy excuses himself from the table.
“i don’t know what it is. I just can’t hold myself together,” Timothy cries.
“I came onto this to meet somebody, to find love. And sitting at the table and I realised that this whole time, I’ve been wasting time just being angry and closed off. I judge everybody else. But I’m the most broken out of everybody,” he continues.
“51 years old and I’ve never really let anyone in.”
“I wish I’d come into this with a more open heart, ready to be matched with a person like Lucinda.”
“She always looks for the best in people. She’s always looked for the best in me. She’s a rock, there’s no question. Lucinda’s a rock. She’s a warm person. Completely open and my complete opposite.”
Lucinda has become concerned that Timothy hasn’t returned to the table and goes to find him.
“Let it all out,” she tells him, while comforting him through the tears.
“The idea of somebody getting close does scare me, because I am used to being alone. Being around Lucinda I can see, maybe there’s a better way to live.”
I am so invested in this love story. Whether it works out or not, I have no doubt that Lucinda has opened up Timothy’s eyes throughout this experience and been a great shoulder for him and his grief.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. Follow her on Instagram.
