Episode 33 marks the last Commitment Ceremony recap for Married At First Sight 2024, which means it’s the final chance for expert John Aiken to kick someone out as the trailers have led us to believe.
Everyone’s preparing for the last time they’ll sit on that fateful Commitment Ceremony couch. Sara and Tim are doing exceptionally well and I choose to attribute that to all the arm-brushing promises she’s been delivering on.
Eden is explaining that arguments with Jayden make her feel trapped and anxious. Jayden does not agree! Jayden finishes his lecture about not agreeing 25 hours later.
Lauren and Jono? Well, Lauren’s feeling lucky to have been paired with someone as “nice” as Jono. You know what that means? He’s about to fuck her over, for sure.
There it is! Tori has big news (huge) from a bride who is no longer in the experiment. I mean, we’ve all seen the MAFS couple swap pap shots, right?
Having this secret makes Tori feel “euphoric” considering everyone’s always coming at her relationship with Jack. Interesting choice of feeling for someone who turned a MAFS dinner party upside down over a “smug” face.
It’s time. The last ever Commitment Ceremony (for MAFS 2024, at least).
Eden and Jayden are on the couch and rehashing everything we heard five minutes ago. Jayden is much softer on the couch, compared to how heated he is in the Skye Suites apartments.
John tells Jayden he’s making Eden feel like she’s in a boxing ring.
“This isn’t about winning or losing,” John tells Jayden.
“Your fight style is toxic,” he continues.
Jayden says it is not his intention to be intimidating, before insinuating that the MAFS experts are on team Eden in this boxing match.
“Am i going to be told I’m wrong by you guys or am I actually allowed to say how I feel,” Jayden asks. Meow!
“I think you’re being a bit childish now,” MAFS expert Mel Schilling tells him.
Jayden says he’s tried his best and that he must’ve misinterpreted Mel’s suggestion of communication. He then says he’ll try not to “go at” Eden before turning to her and claiming, “like you say”. Interesting way to take accountability.
Jayden then confirms he feels like a failure in his relationship with Eden, but he’s excited to spend his life with her. To do so, they obviously write stay. Duh.
Jade and Ridge and next.
Jade is terrified to have feelings for Ridge “in case he wakes up one day and decides this isn’t for him”.
She’s worried he’ll find someone who he thinks is better. People who cheat, take note: this is the lasting damage you have on people.
“There’s nothing that’s going to get in between us. I only see you, babe,” Ridge responds. Ten points to this guy for always reassuring her. He does a good job at it. A dece job, if you will.
Ridge then shows us how much he’s willing to increase his maturity levels to stay in this relationship:
Jokes! It’s how close he is to dropping the L-bomb!
Lucinda and Timothy are up and why do I get the vibe they’re leaving? I feel like they’re usually in the introductory part of the episode?
John demands to know what happened on Home Stays.
Lucinda explains she felt unwelcome in Timothy’s apartment/office/dog kennel. Good news: she managed to refrain from saying “sticky” again.
She confirms he got home at 1.30am and look, it’s far earlier than I imagined.
Timothy admits he should’ve let Lucinda know he was going to stay out longer.
“I think Lu is really on this journey with feelings and that’s her jam,” Timothy tells the MAFS experts.
“But that’s definitely not me,” he continues. “The more you dig into it, the more I retreat, and I need that space.”
John reiterates that Lucinda’s gone at Timothy’s speed the whole time. What has Lucinda sacrificed as a result?
Lucinda said she’s missed out on consideration, kindness, effort in her relationship with Timothy.
“I’ve not really felt special or desired,” Lucinda explained.
“In the end, the slow burn? He fizzled out.”
Lucinda thinks maybe the slow burn thing was a lie.
“You just haven’t really felt a chemistry with me,” she tells him.
They’re really talking past tense now. It’s so over even though it never really started. Fuck my life!
“It’s been beautiful,” Lucinda cries, explaining how wonderful it was to witness Timothy’s vulnerable moments.
“I wouldn’t change my match. It has been great,” Timothy says.
Decision time!
“What wild ride on this zippy marriage cart,” Lucinda starts reading. We’re getting a poem!
Within said poem, Lucinda declares that she is over this relationship and it’s a good thing that the sex toy box was there during the experiment.
She then tells Timothy she loves him, but not in the way we had all hoped for. It’s a friend-type love and I feel a bit silly for ever having hope. Three seasons recapping this shit and I’m still delulu.
To be fair, I’m sadder about Lucinda not being a part of the final episodes than I am about this relationship going tits up. But I do have faith, as she says, of all the people who will be slipping into her DMs.
Next! Tim and Sara are in the honeymoon phase they never had. Translation? They’ve becoming one of those boring, happy couples and they’ll be staying. I’m actually interested to hear their final vows, though!
Jack and Tori are up to talk about their eight-minute bone sesh. They feel closer than ever and Tori thinks she could fall in love with Jack.
“The feeling’s mutual,” Jack says.
MAFS expert Alessandra Rampolla points out Tori’s statement at the last dinner party: that she wouldn’t be friends with anyone in the experiment after this.
Tori explains that she feels really isolated and like she doesn’t have anyone in her corner.
“That comment could’ve easily been tears but I channeled it with anger,” she states, crying as she says it.
She goes on to say that it’s been constant criticism and she just wishes she could be trusted with her feelings for Jack. I don’t trust Alessandra’s face right now tbh.
Alessandra asks Lauren what she’s seeing when it comes to Jack and Tori. Lauren says it’s what she doesn’t see that worries her.
By Alessandra getting Lauren involved, she has basically given Tori the green light to expose the Jono and Lauren secret once they’re on the couch.
Which is now.
Jono and Lauren explain they they are closer than ever after fuccing in Perth, but Tori jumps in to ruin the post-bone bliss.
Tori reveals that Jono has been messaging Ellie.
Sadly, I knew this was coming.
Everyone knew this was coming. Except Lauren, of course.
He says he only messages Ellie every three-four days, as if that is not very fucking often.
Lauren is visibly upset, triggered by past relationships where she’s been played a fool.
I imagine she’s also sad because Jono came across as “different”. A “nice” guy, if you will.
Jono says he’s not interested in Ellie and that she’s not her type. We all know that’s a fucking lie. He called her “lovely” a million times in the MAFS photo ranking task and was always jumping in to defend her during her conflicts with Ben.
Also, we’ve seen the pap photos!!!!
Um, wasn’t someone meant to be kicked out in the MAFS experiment? What did I miss? So confused/pissed off.
See you for tomorrow night’s MAFS recap.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. Follow her on Instagram here.
