You know what I love about Abbie Chatfield, Domenica Calarco and Ella Ding? Well, I actually love a lot of things about these powerhouses, but one major contributing factor to my affection is that they don’t hold back. Nor should they!
All three have created unparalleled personal brands since being on both The Bachelor Australia and Married At First Sight Australia respectively, thanks in no small part to just being their fucking selves. We should all try it sometime — the authenticity part, at least. But if you want to go on reality TV too then go off sis.
Anyway, Abbie sat down with Dom and Ella for their latest Sit With Us podcast episode and I need to have a lie down after the bulk reality TV tea that was spilled. From daily reality TV salaries to the very real toxic femininity that underpins so many productions, below are my favourite moments from one hell of an episode.
The difference in pay between MAFS and The Bachelor
The paycheck for reality stars will forever be a mystery. While MAFS stars have prevously claimed to have received anywhere from $150-$175 a day for seasons that have run in the last five years, Dom and Ella told Abbie that they received $110 a day for MAFS Season Nine.
Whether or not that seems skint is up to you, but it’s more than Abbie claims to have gotten for her season of The Bachelor in 2019.
“MAFS is always $110, we got $90,” Abbie told Dom and Ella.
They went on to explain that on both shows they had to cook their own food, however, on Abbie’s season of The Bachelor they were given groceries — whereas on Ella and Dom’s season of MAFS they had to buy their own.
“I saved so much money because I didn’t have any expenses,” Abbie told Dom and Ella.
“I still had to pay rent and was still buying food and stuff,” Dom responded.
In this economy $90-$110 a day gets you a chicken sandwich and some toilet paper.
What it’s like dating in the spotlight
I like to believe that dating is hard for literally everyone because it makes me feel better about my own shitty love life, but it’s safe to say it’s harder for people in the spotlight.
“Dating’s fucked for me, because I just find the whole media aspect really awful,” Abbie explained to Dom and Ella. She said if her and the person she’s dating are both in the industry then they can’t leave the house together, noting that with one person in particular, the only time they left the house together was to both get antidepressants.
When that person is not in the industry Abbie said that “they get all the worst parts of this [fame] without the good parts” and that sometimes it can become too much or stressful for the person she’s dating. If they enjoy it, however, that also raises questions about whether or not they are using her for something.
Abbie then explained to the girls that she’s seeing a “normie”, which Ella and Dom could also seemingly relate to with their current partners.
“I find it hard when I’m really excited about something that’s just happened and then he doesn’t get it,” Dom explained of her partner, Jack, saying that she doesn’t want to let herself get upset over that difference in understanding the industry.
Abbie then stressed the importance of being with someone who “understands to a certain degree” and how when she’s dating someone who’s not in the industry, the contrast of their days can be huge because of the differing schedules and workloads.
“You’re going to get sick of me taking up 95 per cent of the conversation because you don’t have the content,” Abbie laughed. “Which is not a bad thing.”
The most I can relate to this is having an ex who was unemployed (COVID) while I was employed — but the contrast is very real when asking each other how your days were.
The other interesting thing when it comes to dating for the women is simply finding the time. Ella, for example, has eight flights in the next week-and-a-half alone.
Why women continue to drag each other on reality TV
As someone who identifies as female myself, I found the next conversation within the podcast really interesting.
Now, it’s not new information that both Abbie and Dom copped hate from the fellow female cast members on their shows. In fact, women being pitted against one another is one of the most tired television “storylines” of all time, especially on The Bachelor where they’re all vying for the affection of the same man.
But why was the toxic behaviour between the females on a show like MAFS so strong, then? Abbie made an interesting point in asking why people had such an issue with Dom if they all had their own partner, rather than there being a competitive element.
“With all the group isolation against Dom I was always so confused,” Ella said.
“What the fuck was her issue?” Abbie asked, presumably speaking about Olivia Frazer.
It was a relatable topic nonetheless, with Abbie sharing why she felt she was such a target during both The Bachelor and Bachelor In Paradise.
“I know I did nothing to those girls, but it’s just jealousy,” Abbie explained of the women on The Bachelor claiming she was nasty to them.
Dom echoed the sentiment, saying that there were claims about how “horrible” she was and that production “hated” her.
“People with lack of personality get intimated by people with personality,” Abbie said.
Where’s the lie?
… And that Brittany/Kyle/Gravy Discourse
Remember when Abbie called out Brittany Hockley for her internalised misogyny and it felt like the whole media industry got involved? Dom was one of those people, sharing how she felt about the hypocrisy of Brittany’s actions at the time considering the Life Uncut podcast centred around empowering women.
Makes sense then that what Brittany said was brought up.
“We’re just starting out in this industry, in the media world, it’s obviously dick-driven,” Dom said to Abbie. “And as women trying to make a name for ourselves — you’ve walked so now we can run — and to see, you know, Brittany saying those things and then just furthering that perpetuation that women have to fucking like fight for something.”
“In the year 2023, we are at a point where women can actually, actively and openly support each other and it be OK.”
“I think it was just deflection, right?” Abbie clarified. “Brittany got called out being shady and having internalised misogyny that shone through very clearly.”
“And then I think Laura [Byrne] then panicked and said, ‘Oh, great. I’ll get her for this [the FBOY Island Australia hosting gig] and we’ll change the narrative, but it actually further spotlighted who they are as people,” Abbie continued.
