Either Charli XCX Is Trolling Us Or Her Marketing Team Are At Panic Stations Right Now

Fark me, there is nothing I love more than when celebrities turn on their own “people” (agents, publicists, etc) and expose just how ratchet the industry is for the world to see. The latest example being Charli XCX who has dropped an absolute doozy on social media and no doubt sent her “team” into a spiral. Or, she’s trolling us all.

The British singer, who is gearing up to drop a new album, leaked a list of ridiculous marketing ideas her team pitched to her, each one more mind-numbingly stupid than the last.

Charli wiped her Instagram clean — as all singers do when they’re about to drop new music — and shared the spicy post which contained a gorg grungey pic of the singer on one slide, and on the next was an email with all the aforementioned dumb ideas.

“Things have been boring without me. swipe for some marketing ideas i was sent last week :),” she captioned the post.

Have a go at it below, will ya?

Charli XCX marketing suggestions

What… on… god’s… green… earth??? (Credit: Instagram / Charli XCX)

The suggestions included having Charli XCX leak a sex tape, have a “Winona moment” (a reference to Winona Ryder who got caught shoplifting in the noughties) and, wait for it, having her run for president (???).

There’s two options here: either her marketing team are right this second in crisis meetings and trying to get her to delete the post; or two, they’re quite happy with how viral it went because it’s all obviously a joke, duh. We’d like to believe the latter, but depending on your level of faith in humanity (rock bottom), the former is possible, too.

I hope the new Charli XCX era goes bonkers, thanks to this. And I hope she fires her marketing team and finds a better one that believes in her music for what it is and doesn’t resort to literal theft and infiltrating the White House to *checks notes* get streams on Spotify.