Humble Opinions: The Sex Toys We Swear By That Will Knock Your Socks Off

Contributor: PEDESTRIAN.TV
At PEDESTRIAN.TV, we independently choose and write about stuff we love and think you’ll froth too. We have affiliate partnerships so we might get a bit of money from any purchase you make based on our recs, cool? Cool. FYI – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.

For obvious reasons, we’re all spending a lot more time at home these days. Sure, there are plenty of ways to entertain yourself, but there’s only so much baking sourdough or puzzle-solving one can take, am I right? Enter: the best sex toys money can buy.

We’re talking about the ones that won’t let you down mid mazz. The vibrators that are so silent you can go hell for leather without fear of waking your roommates. And the ones that deliver mind-blowing orgasms no matter what your style is.

Ahead, we’ve shared the sex toys we know will deliver the big-O.

You, after buying one of these… probably.

Get ready to bash that add to cart button.

My ilo Egg

My ilo Egg, $144

I recently dipped my toe back into the world of sex toys after being emotionally scarred in my early 20s by a giant “rabbit” style vibrator. I decided to try a small vibe and gave the My ilo Egg a whirl. Let me tell you, it healed all my emotional scars and brought me back to life! It’s the best little friend you could ask for. It’s waterproof and quiet so perfect for a sneaky little shower mazz session, plus there are 10 vibration patterns to pick from.

The brand is founded by two Aussie gals too, which is a bonus. All their products are crafted locally in Aus and designed to have minimal impact on the environment. So using it makes you feel good on a few levels, lol. — Sophie*

Lelo Sona 2 Cruise
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Lelo Sona 2 Cruise, $169 (usually $199)

“The different settings are fantastic. You can work your way through them for the whole journey. It’s also really nice to touch. I don’t know how they would achieve this, but adding a way to make it easier to use hands-free would be a dream.” — Georgia

“I don’t even touch other sex toys since getting this one – it’s a whole different sensation. The vibrations get deeper, and there are a bunch of different vibe patterns to choose from so you can get there quickly or take your time. Personally, this is pleasure perfection, but I’m all about clitoral stimulation. My friend who isn’t as enthusiastic about that tried this vibrator and found it too much.” — Kate 

Lelo Gigi 2best sex toys

Lelo Gigi 2, $161 (usually $189)

“Gigi has a great battery life and eight-speed setting, so you can ease your way up and explore the range. There’s nothing worse than a zero to 100 situation. Still, even with the speeds, it can make your clit feel a little numb. It also looks very 2000s.” — Joss

Lelo Soraya Wave

Lelo soraya wave

Lelo Soraya Wave, $349

“The texture of the device is beyond smooth; aesthetically lovely. The combination of vibrations and movements is extensive and caters to your vibe, so to speak. That said, it takes some time to work through the combinations/speeds to find what works for you, making it hard for the experience to feel spontaneous or free-flowing.” — Nicole

Abbie G-Spot Vibrator

Vush abbie

Abbie G-Spot Vibrator, $150

“I love Abbie Chatfield and her podcast and when she released a vibrator I thought ‘okay why not’. I hadn’t used a sex toy in years because I guess I’d never found one that floated my boat before… but then I met this one. Honestly, it was love at first use for me — not too loud and extremely lush to look at. It has this 3D flower design on the tip which is definitely deliberate because it adds an extra something when you use it on your G-spot, but the Abbie is an external AND internal vibe (we love a multi-tasker). The way it’s designed means when you use it as a dildo the vibrations are next fkn level. Honestly, I thought my eyes would pop straight outta my head. Well done Abbie, you nailed it (and me. Several times a week).” — Rosie*

Arcwave Ion Pleasure Air Stroker With Smart Silence

Arcwave Ion

Arcwave Ion Pleasure Air Stroker With Smart Silence, $299

Arcwave Ion is THE penis stroker to end all penis strokers. Using it has led to not only different orgasms but stronger ones too. My only gripe is the Smart Silence feature. It’s overly sensitive, and given the Arcwave isn’t something you’d use for quickies/when someone’s unintentionally in earshot, the feature is fairly redundant IMO.” — Johnny*

We Vibe-X

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We Vibe-X, $149

“This couples vibrator turned me into a screamer… enough said.” — Bree

Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen

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Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen, $149.95

“The colourway and design are so pretty, and it comes with this magnetic case which is so smart. I also think that the air pulsing toys feel so much better than things that vibrate right on your clit, and you don’t lose sensitivity. It’s not loud, but it could definitely be a lot quieter. Also, it only has a short, low battery warning before it shuts off.” — Joss

Womanizer Duo

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Womanizer Duo, $329.95

“I like that this one is genuinely quiet. Plus, you don’t have to go all out with the g-spot/clit combo, you can use it for one or the other, and it’s still sure to get you off. I 10/10 would recommend.” — Billie*

“Easily the best toy I’ve owned, both for solo and partner play. It’s super versatile for stimulation on erogenous zones like clit and nipples and g/p-spot with the vibe. You can target one area or go all-out and do both at once, but I must stress – don’t go straight for the highest setting. Sometimes I have issues with the magnetic charging, but apart from that, it’s a dream.” — Court

Satisfyer Pro

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Satisfyer Pro, $99.95

“You can do so many things with it. There’s a suction head that you can use on your clit, nipples, bumhole, head of your penis, internal etc. It can stimulate your clit whilst it’s also vibrating inside you, so HELLO g-spot/ p-spot stimulation. The vibrator has three settings: Subtle, Strong and POWERFUL AF. Honestly, you can even use the strongest setting as a little massager for your other muscles. It also comes with a magnetic charger. Best vibrator I have had so far; I just wish it was a little quieter on the highest setting and that it had longer battery life.” — Rhonda*

“Suction is *chef’s kiss* and the added vibration setting is enough for me never to need a man again. It’s just a tiny bit too loud and gives me anxiety my housemates will hear.” — Saskia

Smile Makers The Surfer

Smile Makers The Surfer, $39.95

“It’s a super easy sex toy to bring into the bedroom, especially if you’re a clit girl. I use it while having sex with my partner in any position that allows for it, and it’ll always bring me home. It has a multitude of speeds as well, meaning you can either build up gradually or amp it up to try and, you know, time it well. It serves its purpose and is a super cheap, entry-level vibrator for the bedroom.” — Charlene*

NORMAL Flynn

NORMAL Flynn, $145

“This was a fun addition to the kit as it’s something my partner and I had not used before. We’re still getting the hang of it, but the quality of the silicone is amazing. The design of the toys is so stylistic that I am so glad I made the purchase. My partner commented that it was comfortable to wear and easy to operate.” — Beth*

NORMAL Charlie

Normal Charlie

NORMAL Charlie, $195

“I always thought this style of the toy was a little basic and that you wouldn’t be able to get the same intense concentration of stimulation as you can with other toys. I was happy to be proven wrong in this case. This toy has been the best addition to both solo-play and for use with my partner. Again, the design and quality of these toys are incredible. It’s waterproof, which I strongly believe every sex toy should be. There is a range of settings, all worth exploring. I also find this is a great toy to use with other toys as the handle makes it easy to manipulate it out of the way.” — Gabby*

Iroha+ Tori

Iroha+ Tori, $220

“The final setting has this incredibly stimulating rhythm to it! It’s nothing close to just flat vibrating – but instead a choir of movement!! The purple-red Iroha is the OG.” — Lexi*

Textured Silicone Seat Vibrator

Textured Silicone Seat Vibrator (was $82, now $41)

“Did I orgasm? Yes. Would it be my new go-to? Probably not. Mainly because of the legwork (literally) involved in using it. That said, you could always just… not sit on it and use the different edges to masturbate manually, which I can confirm works just as good.” — Bree

*Some names have been changed for anonymity. 

Love our humble opinions? Get around the rest of the review series here.

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