You Can Buy Yourself Flowers For V-Day, But Why Do That When These Vibrators Are On Sale

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Folks, if you thought celebrating the Christmas holidays as a single person was fucked, I’m here to tell you that today is equally as shitty. Yep, it’s Valentine’s Day, and the only good thing about the hallmark holiday, in this writer’s opinion, are the cheap sex toys.

You read that right, a whole bunch of sex toy brands like NORMAL, Splash Blanket, Lovehoney, Wildsecrets, and Lelo are slashing a whole heap of dosh off cult-famous vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, cock-rings and more for the next few days.

Now, sex toys aren’t just for us single folks, they’re a bloody brilliant way to spice up any relationship, once you know how and where to use them.

So if you’re keen to invest, here are a few of our front-runners to start you off strong…


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Mates, it’s not every day that the legends over at NORMAL throw a huge sale, so when they do, you should bloody make the most of it. To celebrate the hallmark holiday that is Valentine’s Day, they’re slashing 30% off storewide. All you have to do is use the code ‘JUSTTHEORGASMSTHANKS‘ at the checkout.

You can shop NORMAL’s Valentine’s Day sale here.

Yoni Pleasure Palace / Splash Blanket

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If you’re looking for more of a manual maz, the queens over at Yoni Pleasure Palace and Splash Blanket have everything you could possibly need. From crystal dildos and butt plugs to squirt blankets and yoni eggs, you can score up to 15% off this Valentine’s Day using the code ‘VDAY2023’.

You can shop Splash Blanket’s V-Day sale here.


Lovehoney is slashing up to 50% off sex toys, lingerie, bondage, lube, and more for Valentine’s Day, so you can get a gift for your lover or yourself. Now, that’s the kinda rose we want for V-Day.

You can shop Lovehoney’s V-Day sale here.

Wild Secrets

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Next up we have Wild Secrets, which is slashing its prices by up to 70% during cupids month of ~love~. You’ve got a load of maz essentials to choose from — dildos, palm vibrators, lingerie, butt plugs, bondage, cock-sleeves and more.

You can shop Wild Secrets Valentine’s day sale here.


The legends over at Lelo are also offering up to 50% off for Valentine’s Day, which means you can get your hands on a bunch of its cult-famous vibrators like the Sona 2, Sila, Enigma, Lily and more.

You can shop Lelo’s Valentine’s Day sale here.

Happy mazzing!