G’day, maz machines, it’s your friendly PTV sex writer here to make your day — especially if you missed out on Taylor Swift tickets (all three times you tried).
Aussie start-up NORMAL wants to fill the Blank Space left by your ticket hopes by slashing 50 per cent off its best-selling sex toys, so you can find your own version of Midnight Rain and mourn your losses with a cheeky consolation wank.
That said, we highly suggest getting in quick, though, because the one-off sale is ending at Midnight(s), and we know All Too Well how quickly they sell out.
If you’re unsure about which NORMAL sex toy will be your new Lover, you can take a quick quiz (which will take three-mins, tops) to score personalised recommendations as to what toy will pleasure you best. They also offer a 100-Night Stand Policy, so if the vibrator your purchase doesn’t live up to your Wildest Dreams, you can send it back.
To score your cheeky discount, you’ll need to enter the code ‘CONSOLATIONWANK‘ at the checkout. Now that’s a Love Story if we’ve ever heard one.
Let’s give you a little rundown of each of NORMAL’s sex toys, shall we?
Shop NORMAL’s Sex Toy Sale
Talk about Enchanted! Billie can be used to stimulate the vulva and clitoris, as well as a wide range of other erogenous zones — think labia, perineum, anus, and nipples. It’s also super unintimidating, so it can be discreetly brought into the bedroom.
Sending concentrated vibrations into a rounded point that can be focussed on tighter spots (like the clitoris), Frankie is a great external stimulator that will help you find all the perfect spots and motions that work for you. We’ll take Fifteen, thanks.
If you’re looking for a modern take on the classic rabbit vibrator, the Piper is it. She’s a Gorgeous blend of both internal stimulation of the vagina plus external stimulation of the area around the clitoris and the vulva.
… Ready For It? Charlie is an old faithful wand vibrator versatile enough for solo or partnered use. With enough power to apply firm pressure when needed and the length to reach anywhere n’ everywhere, it’s a fave among us, peeps.
If you ever find yourself with a London Boy that doesn’t provide oral sex, you’ll know there’s only one course of action. Dump him, and get Quinn on the case. With a sensation that feels just like oral sex, the Quinn is a great option for anyone with a clitoris that needs stimulation.
For all our internal orgasm lovers, Darcy is going to be your new Lover! It was designed to have a longer arm for the feeling of full penetration, or if you prefer external stimulation, the little bulb tip is great to use on the clitoris and vulva.
Made to sit around the base of a penis or dildo, the pressure of the Flynn ring helps to strengthen and sustain erections. The vibrating option helps to provide stimulation to a partner at the point of penetration. So slide him on and watch the Sparkes Fly.
Meet you in the Afterglow, mates.