I’ve got to admit, I love a cheeky conspiracy theory. Not the serious ones that have real, negative ramifications on society but the low-stakes, silly ones like whether Harry Styles wore a toupee to cover his beautiful bald head or how Lea Michelle can’t read. But the most recent viral conspiracy theory sits right in the middle — the theory that British royal Kate Middleton is missing.
The online conspiracy theories began after people realised that Middleton hadn’t been seen in public for more than two months. Her last sighting was on Christmas Day, and shortly after that Kensington Palace announced that the Princess had undergone a successful abdominal surgery and would be recovering at home until after Easter.
On Wednesday, a palace aide gave a brief update to ease fans’ concerns and declared that the Princess of Wales “continues to be doing well”.
While we could take Kate’s PR team at face value, that’s not the approach that a bunch of people online are taking.
Instead, conspiracy theorists have concocted a whole heap of theories about Middleton’s whereabouts, hypothesising that the Palaces’ statement is a cover-up for mental health issues, marital rifts, cosmetic surgery or even her death. But like anything online, along with the fully serious conspiracy theorists, there’s also a group of people revelling in the absolutely bonkers theories by making memes that have made me cackle at my desk for the last 20 minutes.
So, here are some of my favourites.
Hello, me again, popping in to say that the hair theory isn’t too crazy.
Back when I worked in magazines — which typically feature the royals every single week even if they’re literally just existing — there was a longstanding theory that the royal gals would get bangs or switch up their hair to distract from other things. Most often, it was that they were pregnant and trying to distract the tabloids. Although it sounds silly, it genuinely worked. We’re fickle creatures.
Okay, back to your programmed meme scheduling.
People are so fucking funny, I am in tears over here.
