I am so sorry to be the one to share this news but Phoebe Bridgers and Bo Burnham were spotted together at Los Angeles International Airport on Friday.

That’s it. That’s the story. Here are the photos.

They’re not doing anything other than walking solemnly but, like, travelling together is objectively far juicier than merely getting dinner. Bridgers and Burnham both live in Los Angeles, so where are they skedaddling to or returning from? Where is Paul Mescal? So many questions and not enough answers.

All I know is I’m going to be sick, and so are the good people of Twitter.

In case you’ve somehow missed the lore, rumours have been swirling since December that Paul Mescal nixed his engagement with Phoebe Bridgers after she was spotted “canoodling” with Bo Burnham.

That’s right! The airport photos are merely the latest nugget of drama in this emotional rollercoaster.

In late December, folks started speculating that lyrics from Bridgers’ collab with SZA might have been a reference to her rumoured split with Mescal. I’m still manifesting it’s all a big misunderstanding but it’s hard to argue with emotionally devastating lyrics.

Bridgers has a verse on the SZA track “Ghost in the Machine” where, as pointed out by People, she sings about a bi ‘ol argument in the New York’s Ludlow Hotel.

The lyrics go: “You said all of my friends are on my payroll/You’re not wrong, you’re an asshole”.

“Screaming at you in the Ludlow/I was yours for free”.

A bit of classic Bridgers punch-in-the-gut lyricism there.

Later in the verse, Bridgers sings “I just think about myself and look where that got me/Standin’ on my own in an airport bar or hotel lobby”.

Bridgers told NME the turnaround time for her verse was “really fast” after SZA asked her to be part of the record in a DM. SOS, the album “Ghost on the Machine” features on, was released on December 9.

Before that, Bridgers and Burnham were allegedly spotted looking “flirtatious” at a comedy show in New York City on December 19.

An insider at Jezebel spilled the beans, the tea and threw the whole kitchen sink in there while they were at it.

Bridgers reportedly attended a showing of KATE — a one-woman show starring comedian Kate Berlant. This in itself isn’t #tea, but what if I told you the show is directed by Burnham? Interesting, methinks.

According to the source, the show was very late getting off the ground ‘cos of technical difficulties and eventually, the performance was canned. Ol’ mate Burnham took to the stage to apologise for everything and then reportedly “hopped off to go sit down next to [Bridgers]” where he gave “her his undivided and doting attention”.

Look, it’s pretty rogue to assume that two folks are rooting merely because they were spotted yapping. But the insider believed the gasbag “felt flirtatious”, as if “he was trying to impress her”. My skeleton shirt-printed tinfoil hat is firmly on.

The initial rumours that Paul Mescal and Phoebe Bridgers called off their engagement started when gossip oracle Deuxmoi revealed on the December 15 episode of the Deux U podcast that sneaky sources claimed they saw the singer and Bo Burnham together at The Magic Castle to see The 1975.

“There have been sightings of Phoebe Bridgers and Bo Burnham all around Los Angeles when she was here a couple of weeks ago,” Deuxmoi said.

“A couple of people said that they saw them making out. They saw them canoodling. They saw them cuddling at the Magic Castle at a 1975 concert [and] just at a bar in LA.”

Apparently, this upset many Bo Burnham fans because of his long-term relationship with director Lorene Scafaria, whom he’s been dating for nearly 10 years.

Meanwhile, Bridgers and Mescal went public with their relationship in Dec 2021 and were rumoured to be engaged in April this year before Mescal confirmed it in November.

“I just got this in from a very reliable source,” Deuxmoi continued.

“Can confirm the engagement is off between Paul Mescal and Phoebe Bridgers. It’s not an open relationship in the slightest.”

This intel took Deuxmoi by surprise as she’d received sightings of Bridgers and Mescal together in London for her weekly Sunday Spotted posts.

“The person said, ‘Nope, Paul found out about Phoebe and Bo and called off the engagement’,” Deuxmoi revealed.

Hooly dooly that’s a spicy meatball.

Now we know that Bridgers and Burnham were hanging out in Los Angeles because a photo of them with The 1975’s Matty Healy was posted on December 14. It showed Bridgers and Healy having a (possibly totally platonic) smooch while Burnham stood over them with his eyes closed and his arms around their shoulders.

Not gonna lie, it’s a hot shot. But whether anything more salacious happened at this meeting of the World’s Most Attractive People is unknown.

None of the key players in this piping hot tea have publicly said anything about the rumours, so we will just need to wait and see.

Image: Getty Images / Jon Kopaloff / Rich Fury