Neighbours, I’ve missed you and your batshit storylines. Thankfully, the brand-spankin’ new iteration of the long-running soap returned to screens last night. And in true Neighbours fashion, there were a bunch of twists, turns and bonkers surprises along the way. So, if you haven’t tuned in yet, here’s a quick recap of the first ep to get you up to speed.
Oh, and this yarn contains spoilers, obviously.
The big wedding twist!!!!
It wouldn’t be a pinnacle episode of Neighbours without a twist, right? Well, this ep did not disappoint. It kicks off with Ramsay Street residents getting ready for a wedding. But because this season is set two years after last season wrapped, we’re not entirely sure who it could be.
Could it be Jane Harris (Annie Jones) and Mike Young (Guy Pearce) who were first loves who reconnected during the last season? Or are Terese Willis (Rebekah Elmaloglou) and Paul Robinson (Stefan Dennis) renewing their vows after splitting and getting back together?
Well, it turns out it’s neither. Standing at the end of the aisle are fucking Toadie (Ryan Moloney) and Terese.
But with gloomy music playing and a very gloomy-looking Paul watching on, I don’t think the audience is positioned to feel like this is a happy moment for the characters. Plus, the last episode which was meant to be the series finale, featured the town coming together for Toadie’s wedding to Melanie (Lucinda Cowden).
For those playing at home, this marks Toadie’s sixth wedding. Sometimes you’ve just got to call it a day with the weddings, hey Toadfish?
Anyway, we’re left to wonder why Toadie and Melanie and Paul and Therese broke up. Oh, and how Toadie and Terese, who have barely ever shared a scene in an episode, wound up tying the knot.
Fuck, I didn’t expect to be this invested.
What’s Mischa Barton’s character up to?
Ah yes, of course, we’ve got to see what our girl Mischa Barton is up to! No offence to Toadie, but she’s the big name of the show. From the moment she’s on screen, her character Reece Sinclair is shrouded in mystery. She rocks up to Paul’s hotel Lassiters to take a break from her busy work-filled life.
Within two minutes, Reece is hooking up with an employee at the hotel, Byron Stone (Xavier Molyneux) in an elevator. A girl after my own heart.
It becomes pretty clear that they’ve been doing the horizontal tango ever since she arrived in Erinsborough but he knows nothing about her. Clearly, she wants to keep it that way.
What is Reece hiding?!
Side note, I reckon she’s going to be on The Masked Singer Australia this year. Just food for thought, food for tummies.
Hello to a new family
Out with the old and in with the new! It’s a new era of Neighbours so of course they need some fresh meat and thankfully, there’s a whole host of new faces being brought into the fold.
First up, we’re introduced to Holly (Lucinda Armstrong-Hall). Holly is the daughter of Dr Karl Kennedy (Alan Fletcher) and Izzy Hoyland (Natalie Bassingthwaighte) and appeared briefly in the last season. She’s now living with Carl and Susan (Jackie Woodburne).
Next up is the Varga-Murphy family. Remi (Naomi Rukavina) and Cara (Sara west) are same-sex parents to their two sons JJ (Riley Bryant) and Dex (Marley Williams). They’re renting Jane’s house for a couple of weeks while they look for a new place to live. I’m no psychic but I reckon they’ll end up living there. If I’m right, you owe me a cheeky little smooch on the forehead.
Anyway, JJ seems to already have a weird suspicion about the street and old mate Harold even rocks up and starts gasbagging about the street’s history. BORING. Why is a teenager interested in that? He’s up to something, that’s why. I’m calling it now that one of the dudes on the street is his biological father.
God, Neighbours, I’m available for plot-writing freelance if you want. Call me.
So, there you have it. You can watch the new episodes of Neighbours on 10Play.
