Kim Kardashian has confirmed to the world she and Pete Davidson do not have a foot fetish and thank God for that, I guess?
I don’t know what it is about Kim and Pete’s relationship that’s so compelling but for some reason nothing they do is ever really cringe — even Kim’s latest Instagram post, which violated a cardinal rule of the internet: no free feet.
The IG carousel consists of not one but two disgustingly cute pictures of Kim’s feet splayed against Pete’s chest, which I know would sell for millions if she ever decided to start yet another business.
Would someone’s billionaire status be ethical if they acquired it purely by selling their own feet pics, no other labour involved?
But I digress.
Kim’s nasty yet adorable feet pics prompted sister Khloé Kardashian to comment the question we were all thinking: “Do you guys have a foot fetish too?”
Ah yes, that “too” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here — need I remind you of the (many) sensual feet pics we’ve had to endure from chronic oversharers Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker? Who I’ve constantly had to learn disgusting information about against my will? Like how she drinks his cum as part of a fertility ritual? Sorry but it’s burned into my memory and if I have to suffer so do you.
Well, Kim has reassured us she and Pete are a couple we need not fear, for they will not give us uncomfy tootsie smooches to squirm over.
“Nope!” was her succinct answer to the question of the century.
And so the pair shall remain my fave, non-problematic celeb relationship. For better or for worse. Through sickness and in health. But not if there’s gross feet pics involved. Then it’s goodbye forever and a kick on the way out.