We’re Sorry To Report That Kourtney K Was Told To Drink Travis’ Kum For Her Fertility Issues

kourtney kardashian travis barker fertility semen drinking

Another day, another piece of information shared with the world from the collective of chaotic couples that we really wish we didn’t have to know. This time, it’s about Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker‘s fertility journey as a kommitted coupling. Specifically, Kourt’s specialist telling her to — ahem — sip on Travis’ cum.

I wish I was joking, but alas this is very real.

Per E! News, Kourtney talks about her journey with fertility and trying to have a baby with Travis on May 26’s episode of The Kardashians.

She revealed that her doctor (?) had suggested she consume Travis’ sprog to help her chances of producing a successful egg and falling pregnant. Not just once, either — I’m talking like four times a week.

All I can think about is… that’s a lot of protein. And if she’s gonna take that route I’d be getting that man scoffing down pineapple, parsely, peppermint and anything else alkalising to make the load more tolerable, so to speak.

During the episode, Kourtney and Travis meet Ayurvedic expert (read: wellness guru) Martha Soffer, who laughed at the doctor’s orders and told them they should do a cleanse where they abstained from working out, rooting and drinking caffeine.

Sounds boring as fuck but hey, whatever works, right?

I’m kinda glad they decided to not go for the semen-slurping option and instead for something a bit more ~wholesome~ and achievable. At the very least the root rat cleanse is a joint effort, and not a one-sided mission that would give Travis the better end of the stick.

Sadly this also means they don’t take out the title for Most Alarming Couple Behaviour — that one still belongs with their blood-sucking friends Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly.

So glad we know all of this. Just simply over the moon about it.