G’day friends, it’s Sunday! Welcome back to our RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under recaps, that we have appropriately titled ‘rucaps’, because we’re geniuses. This week’s episode was the SNATCH GAME!! The moment we’ve all been waiting for!! I know you have a lot of thoughts, and so do I, so let’s dive right in.

The first point of order is to mourn the loss of our beloved First Nations queen, and bonafide daddy Jojo Zaho. She added so much character and wit to the season, and honestly, you can already feel her absence in the werkroom.

Our Down Under queens don’t mourn for too long, however, and begin talking about the great Aussie legend, the shoey. The Kiwis have no fkn idea what a shoey is, and so naturally everyone gets out their high heels and does one.

When I tell you this is peak television, I truly am not lying. Look at the imagery, it really speaks for itself.

he’s a pisspot through and through…

It’s now time for the queens to find out what gaggery, fuckery and wiggery will be going on this week, and who better to do that than the person who legalised gay marriage in Australia, Kylie Minogue herself.

She’s holding two pink feathers (for what reason, I have no idea, but I do not dare to question it), and continuously makes references to her smash hits like ‘Wow’, ‘Get out of my way’ and ‘Spinning Around’.

If you are not familiar with any of these songs, then consider this your opportunity to go and listen to them, else your homosexuality be denounced.

Also, I am incredibly saddened that Kylie is just a screen appearance. In a perfect world, we would have her on the judging table. Miss Rona, you are the winner of this week’s challenge.

introducing everyone’s fave gay icon: the green absinthe fairy from Moulin Rouge.

Kylie tells the girls that they’ll be playing the mother tucking Snatch Game, which is the one challenge in every Drag Race season that everyone looks forward to.

However, we introduce the aforementioned gaggery, fuckery and wiggery, when both Art Simone and Scarlet Adams put forward their plan to do Bindi Irwin. TWO Bindis? When there are so many other options? Kath & Kim were robbed.

The two decide to make peace, much like the emus and the humans did in the great emu war, and it is decided that Art will take Bindi, will Scarlet will do everyone’s favourite Aussie, Jennifer Coolidge.

thank me gator, bitch.

Meanwhile, Kita Mean is having a crisis over whether to do Carole Baskin (do it) or Dr Seuss (don’t fkn do it).

She goes with Dr Seuss (goddammit) because she thinks the risk will pay off for her, and thus we were all robbed of seeing everyone’s favourite Aussie, Carole Baskin, on our screens.

cat in the hat or cat in the cage?

The queens then do one on ones with RuPaul himself, which is really just an excuse for Ru to remind Coco that her looks are rotten.

Anita Wigl’it tells one of the best jokes I’ve heard in yonks, when she tells Ru that she will be portraying Queen Elizabeth II for snatch game.

Please read the following line with a Queen Elizabeth voice, like Anita did:

“When somebody turns 100, I write them a letter, and when somebody turns 16 Prince Andrew writes them a text.”

Absolutely. Dead.

Meanwhile, Etcetera Etcetera tells the room that she will be portraying Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton. Yes, the woman who was wrongfully accused of killing her baby, and claimed a dingo got to it.

Everyone questions whether or not it will pay off, but queen of smooth brains, Etc Etc, has a plan. The no-thoughts-head-empty representation on my screen is really touching my heart.

no thoughts, just be cute.

Now we crack right into the good stuff, with some stunning impersonations (and a fucktonne of bad ones) being offered up.

First up is Karen from Finance as Dolly Parton, who starts strong then flatlines. Much like Jolene, Dolly would hate this.

I was geeked for a killer Karen snatch game, but alas, now I must speak to the manager and complain.

regrets life decisions in yeehaw.

Meanwhile, Art Simone does a very strange and hyper-sexual Bindi Irwin, and Coco Jumbo does a Lizzo impression that’s super one-note.

Scarlet on the other hand has a pretty spot-on Jennifer Coolidge voice, but the look is lacking.

regrets life decisions in blonde.

Moving on down to queen Etc Etc, and my GOD was this impression hilarious. It was completely irreverent, which is what drag is, and she also kinda looked like an early days Lindy.

There was a torchlight to look for her missing baby, and a dingo puppet with blood on it. When I tell you I screamed at every instance of this snatch game, I truly am not lying.

nobody can say this dingo was planned, ’cause it was great.

And Schitt’s Creek fans rejoice, finally we have some Moira Rose / Catherine O’Hara representation in the snatch game.

Elektra Shock sold the hell out of this impersonation, and I was giggling like a little school kid. Some may say it wasn’t the best impression in the world, and they’d be right as fuck, but hey, it was entertaining, David.

elektra, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican.

Also, can we just go back to Etc Etc for a sec a sec and appreciate this ripped answer card?? My hand covered my mouth the entire time. This is exactly the kind of batshit stuff we expect to see from an Aussie snatch game.

fkn screaming.

Anita killed it as Queen Elizabeth II. Drag Race Down Under had some questionable impressions, but it was pretty clear early on that this one just had to be the winner.

I mean, those jokes about the key to living long being to not piss her off and wear a seatbelt? We’re all going to hell for laughing.

“who needs a husband when you have two corgis and a jar of peanut butter”

Snatch Game is over, and it’s now time for the cry in front of the makeup stations and unpack your trauma part of every episode, and Maxi straight up fkn asks how supportive everyone’s parents are of their drag.

I’m not even a drag queen and I winced at the question. Welcome to RuPaul’s Therapy Race, I guess.

Anita talks about her tough relationship with her father in England, who not only doesn’t support him being gay, but always lived so far away, making the bond even harder to strengthen.

I just love Anita so much, and this made me so upset. Can we all stop hurting Anita, please and thank you??

gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best trauma win.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, her

we traded Courtney Act for… this?

I refuse to comment least I be sued through my fibro roof.

Anyway, it’s runway time, which RuPaul clearly missed the memo for, and the theme, despite both Minogues being on this episode, is sea sickening.

I mean, we could have had a Minogue-themed runway? Somebody could’ve come out atop a mass-orgy of gays, like she did in the ‘All the Lovers’ music video? It would’ve been perfect, I’m just saying.

(Also Ru is back in drag?? Despite saying in episode 1 that he’d stay out of drag for the whole show??? And there was no comment or remark made about him being all dressed up????)

me looking at unaffordable homes in Sydney and Melbourne.

The queens serve some lovely oceanic looks, and my faves were definitely Kita Mean, Etcetera Etcetera and Karen from Finance.

I mean, look at our loveable icon Etc Etc, as a deep-sea diver hoe. Anchors away boys, it’s about to get wet.

Are you nautical or nice?

I truly couldn’t avoid showing off this crazy shark look. Karen. Has. Taste.

I mean she’s being eaten by a shark? On the runway? Genius.

we’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Ru then tells all the queens on the mini mini-stage that they all fkn sucked at snatch game, except for Anita, who wins this week’s Drag Race Down Under challenge. Etc Etc landed a solid safe for her Lindy, and Kita was also safe for her Dr Seuss.

Everyone else was up for elimination. That’s six queens who disappointed Ru this week, instead of the usual bottom three. Can I get a yikes in the comment section.

Then, backstage, Dannii Minogue appears to tell the queens that she’s living for their looks, and sounds like every gay person’s straight friend that they meet one night in a dingy nightclub, never to see again.

She also sings ‘This Is It’ (the best song to come out of Australia, fight me), and makes reference to her song ‘Put the Needle On It’. The queens then make an awkward joke that they know all about playing with needles and Dannii makes the most awkward face ever.

To be fair, so did I. Moving on then, shall we?

alexa play Put the Needle On It Cicada Vocal Mix Edit, thanks.

The bottom two queens are announced to be Coco Jumbo for her lacklustre Lizzo, and Art Simone for a Bindi Irwin that just didn’t have enough jokes.

The pair lipsync to RuPaul’s ‘I’m That Bitch’ instead of a fkn Minogue song, because the show likes to remind us that it is, in fact, homophobic. (For legal reasons, this show and all its brands and partners are absolutely beloved by the gays.)

The lipsync is pretty bad, with both queens giving almost no energy. To be fair, they were probably expecting ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’, so I can’t blame them.

where in the fkn ocean is my lost Kylie Minogue lipsync?

And thus, the lipsync concludes, and it’s time for the winner to be declared.

Coco Jumbo is called out as the winner, because she gave way more energy than Art this time around, and unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Miss Simone.

Art was a frontrunner, an absolute legend and a queen with a huge amount of followers going into this competition. It’s truly shocking to see her go so soon, when I wasn’t finished admiring the full gallery.

Image: Stan