Ritz just launched a charcuterie board made out of a giant mother-fkn Ritz cracker!!! Now, shut up and take my money.

The 10-inch cracker has arrived just in time for Christmas. It’s also literally the best thing to ever happen for people (like me) who can’t afford a nice cheese platter, and hate cleaning up.

Imagine friends coming over and you get this massive guy out?? Then imagine not having to clean up afterwards. Pure heaven.

The OG post has been shared 701 times, with 734 people tagging their mates in the comments, because they desperately need one for Chrissy.

Ritz are also giving away these bad boys for free over on Instagram to fulfil all your ritzy charcuterie needs (see what I did there).

It’s officially the year of the charcuterie board (if only I knew how to say it). Yep, I think people have finally realised that Christmas pudding and mince pies are rank, and we all just want cheese and salami instead.

If a massive Ritz cracker is a little too basic for you, I’d highly recommend having a look at these Christmas charcuterie chalets, that look like gingerbread houses.

Um, there’s also an online charcuterie board builder, if you’re that person that thinks putting party pies and frankfurts on a cheese board is a good idea.

Just FYI, it’s not a good idea. If you’re doing that, you may as well be 7 and attending a party at a kids play centre.

The biggest RIP of them all, is that you won’t be able to buy them in stores. So I guess this whole thing was a waste of time then? Um, yeah sorry about that.

Although, I’m still holding out hope that Ritz are just pretending the platter won’t be available to create hype, and by Christmas they’ll actually be in stores.

*fingers crossed*