Kiwi. Gorgeous and green on the inside, furry and brown on the outside. Two textures that play off each other to create a whole new world of fruity goodness. It’s much like a coconut, except delicious. It’s also similar to a mango, except without the leathery outside. Kiwi is the perfect fruit, and deserves to be eaten in its natural form.
Some may call the kiwi the ballsack of the Earth, and they’d be right. However, that’s never going to stop me from consuming the fruit whole.
Pardon my French, but I fucking love kiwi fruits. And I’m here to tell you that eating it skin on is the only way to do it.
Now before you pull your pitchforks out, listen to a man defend himself before the court of fruit. The skin of a kiwi is absolutely delicious. When you bite into the thing, you get a firm, fuzzy texture that counteracts how batshit sweet the kiwi is inside.
Melding these two textures on your tongue is like seeing God flash before your eyes. The best part is, you can just pick up the thing and eat it like that. Suddenly you have an on-the-go fruit that rivals the apple. Sure its juicy af, but now you no longer need a spoon to dig into this iconic treat.
Don’t get me wrong, digging out the pure insides of a kiwi fruit is next to getting a strike in bowling in levels of satisfaction, but when you do this, you are leaving out the best part.
The skin is FULL of antioxidants, absolutely teeming with the stuff, and can offer you some pretty strong antioxidant protection for your body with its high levels of vitamin C and vitamin E. So not only are you getting the health kick from the green part, but also the brown part as well. Win-win in my eyes.
Why would you just chuck all that goodness away? Are you some kind of antioxidant hating monster? Are you afraid that the texture of the skin is too furry? Most of you horndogs will eat ass but not the skin of a kiwi? Disrespectful.
I truly could go on for days about how gorgeous eating a kiwi whole is, but I feel as if I’m preaching to the atheists. When you finally see the light, let me know. Until then, enjoy your skinless kiwis you subterranean animals.Image: Getty Images / Javier Zayas Photography