We know by now that Brooklyn Beckham, nepo baby and self-styled “celebrity chef”, has only a tenuous grasp on the culinary arts and let’s be honest, reality itself.
We’ve seen Brooklyn’s groundbreaking gin and tonic recipe featuring not just gin, but tonic as well. Huge if true.
He also recently made fettuccine alfredo without the fettuccine. He’s a trailblazer, a visionary… an artist. Who are we to question him?
Well, today I’m questioning the cake he’s proudly brandishing in his mum Victoria Beckham‘s Instagram post.
Posh Spice posted a congrats to her eldest son and his wife Nicola Peltz for their one year wedding anniversary. This in and of itself is noteworthy, given the persistent rumours that Victoria bloody hates Nicola and doesn’t approve of her son’s choice in wifey.
“So special to be together to celebrate your 1st wedding anniversary,” the post intoned. “We love you.”
In the pic David Beckham is leaning on his son’s shoulder, and Nicola has her arm around Victoria. It’s all very normal, until you perceive the cake.
WHAT IS THIS.
I’ve never seen anything less apppetising than this: a grey fondant cake covered with polaroid pictures of Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz.
There are so many lush cake designs you can choose from these days, and this is what you come up with? I’m looking at you, Brooklyn Beckham. This cake definitely has the markings of a man who cooks actual wine corks in his dinner.
You just know they didn’t actually eat any of that cake. They simply posed for the photo and then threw it in the kitchen tidy bin.
Part of me wonders if they took the traditional first anniversary gift of paper quite literally and decided to plaster their cake with… photographs? If so, Brooklyn and Nicola get one (1) point for creativity but that’s it.
The whole celebration is deeply amusing, given that there’s currently an absolute war raging over their supposedly botched nuptials, a year on from the unhappy occasion.
ICYMI: Nicola Peltz’s billionaire dad Nelson Peltz and the wedding planners are suing each other and it’s a whole mess. You can read our rundown of it all HERE.
The couple is reportedly planning to re-do their wedding, so let’s hope they don’t also re-do this entirely unappealing cake, too.
