Brooklyn Beckham Makes Triumphant Return To Kitchen, Cooks Fettuccine Alfredo W/O Fettuccine

brooklyn beckham cooked a terrible fettuccine aldredo

Voice of a generation Brooklyn Beckham has made a brave return to the kitchen to attempt a fettuccine alfredo. The twist? There was no fettuccine. There was barely even alfredo.

In a video released on Friday, the 24-year-old son of famous and ~legitimately~ talented football star David Beckham put his culinary skills to the test.

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In the video, which has nearly one million views at the time of writing, chef Brooklyn proves that he can both speed footage up AND add music to an Instagram Reel.

Hang on a second. Maybe he IS talented after all?

Our boy starts off by making the alfredo sauce. In a diary-consuming world, this would traditionally be made by combining butter, cream, garlic, and Parmesan cheese.

In this plant-based version, Brooklyn adds what ~looks~ to be oil, flour, stock (??) and plant-based milk to a pot.

He then dumps the mixture into a frying pan to create a sort of pancake-looking shape.

Before the mixture can fully transform into a pancake, he adds the pasta which you’d EXPECT would be of the fettuccine variety.

But yes, you guessed it. ‘Twas not.

From the footage, our best guess is that was just regular old spaghetti…

The one saving grace of this video is that the recipe is plant-based.

Even if his general vibe might annoy you, you’ve gotta respect an ethical eater.

Or do you? The jury’s still out.

Brooklyn Beckham has been chronically in the news recently for all the most obscure reasons.

This past week it was announced that he and his wife Nicola Peltz would be having a second goddam wedding.

In more food and beverage-related news, Brooklyn also got roasted to the moon and back for his now infamous “experimental” gin and tonic.

If you aren’t up to date on the saga yet, we promise you that it’s a real treat in store.