Roll up, roll up my tight-ass friends. ALDI’s opening up a cheap-as-chips pop up wine bar in Sydney so you can sling some vino without waking up to crippling financial hangxiety the next day.

The wine bar is called The Trophy Room, which immediately conjures mental images of taxidermied forest animals and a large-scale open fire.

But fear not. The Trophy Room actually looks more like an ALDI with chairs in it.

ALDI’s Bringing A Wine Bar To Aus So You Can Score Fancy AF Vino & Cheese For Less Than $5
can i interest you in a vintage Special Buy?

The wine bar prices are genuinely mind-bogglingly low. I’m shaken, stirred and a little bit shook.

For a $4.41 ticket — less than a head of lettuce currently — you’ll be greeted with a gin cocktail, and then score a tasting selection of ALDI wines plus a cheese platter.

Not going to lie, I’d be very tempted to squirrel away some of those cheeses in my tote bag for later.

According to ALDI, if the glasses of wine were priced individually they’d start at just 0.83 cents for a pour of pinot grigio. The most expensive on the menu? A pinot noir for… $2.49.

ALDI’s wine expert and buying director Jason Bowyer highlighted the idea that good booze doesn’t necessarily have to break the bank.

Quite simply, ALDI wins hands-down when it comes to price and quality,” he said.

“At a time when consumers are cutting back, they don’t have to compromise when they shop with us.” 

The ALDI wine bar greatly appeals to me on a deep personal level. That’s because I A) love cheese and B) am sick of spending $7.50 on very small glasses of incredibly shit white wine in pubs.

It’s time we had a drinking revolution in this country — a bev-olution, if you will.

No more craft breweries! No more wanky bars which only serve natural wine! No more $30 cheeseboards where you’re lucky to get a small sliver of mould! The ALDI wine bar is all I need now.

Alas, The Trophy Room is only open for two days: July 15th and July 16th. Text your partner and lock in date night immediately.

You can book seats at The Trophy Room online, with tickets dropping July 8 at 9am. I can only imagine it’ll be as stressful as trying to get tickets for Harry Styles.

Image: Community