Sometimes, you really are what you eat. Case in point, this crunchy, dusty Port Adelaide Power fan who decided to harm himself and everyone around him with his snack of choice: a classic ol’ pack of dry, unflavoured and unwatered Weet-Bix straight out of the box. Not all heroes wear capes but all villains eat cereal dry, apparently.

On Saturday night, Melbourne’s flag fancies the Western Bulldogs and Adelaide’s current top-tier team Port went head to head at the Adelaide Oval. The Bulldogs won by 19 points, but that’s not what you, me, or Reddit cares about. All we’re thinking about is Weet-Bix Power Man. 

According to Reddit, one Port Adelaide fan and absolute beast of a human made a bold move against capitalism and seemingly chose not to spend his money on overpriced stadium snacks this past weekend. Instead, he brought along a meal of his own choosing, shoving dried up whole-grain wheat cereal down his ‘nob and probably nearly choking while his team lost the game.

Folks, I’d have a glass of water on hand when you see these pics that doth lie before you, because they’re dryer than the Savannah—or, as Laganja once famously said, your vagina.

Look, call me a dramatic (my therapist does already!) but we here at Pedestrian.TV have A Lot of opinions about Weet-Bix and how to—and not to—eat them. And, quite frankly, going in dry just ain’t it.

Is eating dry Weet-Bix out of the box a power move? Maybe. Is it a sign that after Saturday night’s game, Port Adelaide are just as crunchy as their go-to meal and crunchy ass human Weet-Bix of a chairman, David Koch? Oh, absolutely. As one fan put it best, “this is why we lost.”

In hindsight, this might not be the weirdest thing eaten by an AFL fan. I mean, one prestigious champ once brought a full-on charcuterie board to a match, blue cheese, freshly baked bread et al. But eh, who am I to judge? I once tried to sneak a whole roast chicken from Woolies into the movies.