My chaotic friends, my lovers of the bizarre, have you ever pondered upon the Instagram interface and thought: ‘Surely there’s a way I can utilise this clunky app to make my ex jealous somehow without embarrassing myself in front of all my friends?’ Well, one woman now has the answers, and yes, they’re batshit.

Now before we go on I must inform you that while this method is a lot of work to make your ex jealous, it probably won’t make them want you back. Unless you communicate (like an adult) your way into a friends-with-benefits situation with your ex, no amount of tricks will be able to ‘win’ someone back.

Phew, now that’s clear, let’s get into this odd method of making your ex jealous on Instagram, which I cannot believe I didn’t think of during my rough-as-bricks breakup back in 2019.

TikToker @disappointedchef (Allie) put up this wild story three days ago, and already its amassed almost 2M views across the globe.

In it, she details that after an intense breakup, she decided to hide her Insta story from every single follower she had except her ex, and started to make very specific and targeted stories just for him. Think of it like targeted advertising. If Google can do it, why can’t we?

@disappointedchef

Rating all the embarrassing things I posted to my insta story to try and get my ex boyfriends attention #ASOSChaoticToCalm #greenscreen

♬ original sound – allie

“So back in 2018 I was going through a really bad breakup and I engaged in this absolutely unhinged behaviour where I would hide my Instagram story from every single person who followed me except for my ex-boyfriend, so let’s say I had 400 followers, I would hide it from 399 people except for him,” she says in the video.

“I would post a story literally for only him to see it.”

She then goes on to rate her old stories, which include pretending her dark closet was a nightclub, dressing up just to take a photo, and sharing that an Uber driver had implied she had a hookup.

Completely unhinged behaviour, but you have to respect the kind of girlboss who can come up with this stuff.

@disappointedchef

Reply to @gracegsworld lmk if anyone needs a tutorial!!

♬ original sound – allie

And it gets even more absurd: Allie was flitting between letting everyone see her story and nobody but her ex to keep up appearances. A true artist of the jealousy game. I’m horrified.

“Just in case people didn’t know the effort that it takes to hide your story from every single person who follows you except one or two people, Instagram doesn’t have a select all button,” she said.

“So, if you want to hide your story like a mass-hiding like I was doing, you have to go in and tap on every single person’s name that follows you, and you can leave the one you want to see it, but that can take several minutes.”

“I was doing this multiple times a week, like going between hiding it from everyone and letting everyone see my story. I didn’t want it to be too fishy.”

If you’d like to watch Allie rate more of her wild Insta stories targeted towards her ex, you can do so at her TikTok page, there’s plenty more vids where these came from.