In news that proves technology has gone just far enough, a woman’s Amazon Alexa provided receipts showing her boyfriend was cheating on her. Turn this into a Black Mirror episode ASAP, I say.
Jessica Lowman (@jessicalowman1) made a fucking spicy TikTok of her scrolling through the speaker’s voice history, which revealed another woman had been talking to Miss Alexa.
“One for the girls. So this is how I caught my ex cheating,” the vid was captioned.
“I didn’t even know Alexa stored this shizzz.”
Lowman then played the voice recordings, and let me tell you they were wild. While they weren’t overtly horny, they had the same je ne sais quoi that Adam Levine‘s texts did.
“Alexa, what do you do then?” a random woman’s voice said.
“Alexa, play ‘Power Trip’ by Miguel.”
Look, there’s a lot to unpack here.
Firstly: who fucking knew Alexa saved voice commands? I’m getting hectic flashbacks to the time I was house sitting and had some mates over and we all started screaming conflicting requests at the Google Home in the living room — audio I assumed was lost in the aether but now, am not so sure about.
Secondly: it’s not confirmed that the unknown woman and the ex-boyfriend were rooting at the time but if they were, you’re telling me *this* is the song they wanted in the background?
What an absolutely feral track to bonk to. The Redditor who exclusively boned down to ‘Cbat’ by Hudson Mohawke has been found shaking.
Lowman played more recordings Alexa had stored from September 17 and this time, the ex-boyfriend chimed in.
“Alexa, volume eight,” he said.
“Alexa, volume down!” the random woman said in an extremely fucking exasperated tone. Girl was stressed from hearing ‘Power Trip’ at volume eight.
As if the whole situation couldn’t get messier, Lowman uploaded another TikTok showing her confronting her ex-boyfriend via iMessage.
Not only did the bloke have the absolute audacity to call Lowman “a nake” and tell her he “just wanted a cuddle”, but he also accused *her* of being “a cheat”? I’m bamboozled by this terrible man’s foul thought process. He must be studied like a meerkat at the zoo, methinks.
If you have a sneaking suspicion your partner is bumping uglies with someone else, or you just want to listen to the ridonkulous things your partner/housemate/cat asks Alexa when they’re alone, all you need to do is hop into the “Review Voice History” section of Alexa’s privacy settings.
Go forth and snoop, folks.
