In breaking news this afternoon, the state of Victoria has been plunged into a state of dystopian chaos, after a van carrying a precious payload of KFC Popcorn Chicken rolled on a highway, spilling the cargo over the road.
The incident occurred on the Western Highway, just east of Ballarat, shortly before 2:45pm this afternoon.
Horrifying images from the scene show hundreds of innocent popcorn chicken bags strewn callously across the area, with the invaluable van entrusted with carrying them laying prone on one side.
— Joseph Ogilvie (@jogilvie_9) November 1, 2018
VicTraffic officials have leapt into action, declaring an incident in the area and noting the cause using only the most official language on their website.
“…due to a chicken nugget spill” my god. This is the end times.
Preliminary reports from the area suggest no human suffered injuries in the incident, however several pieces of chicken have been squished, or have suffered a loss of crumb.
We’ll have more on this story as information becomes available.
Until then, hold your chicken strips near. Tell them you love them. Never take a nug for granted.
Life, dear friends, is merely here for a limited time only.