It’s Friday, folks! Time to forget the whims of the world and slide on in to the god dang, god dang weekend. No place for worldly worries here, it’s the weekend! You don’t want heady, detail-rich content on a ripping Friday afternoon. You just want some jackass making a right horse’s ass of themselves. And there is no horse, nor ass bigger than that of Donald Trump.

At the end of a particularly rough week for the US President, he boarded Air Force One earlier today with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe like an absolute asshole.

What a dope. What a maroon. What an ignoranimus.

‘Course this raises many questions. Just how long had that piece of Presidential bog roll been affixed to his foot? Did it come from whatever toilet he’d been in before jumping into the car? Had it intended to travel with the President all the way only to be callously wiped off on the threshold of the plane? Or, more pressingly:

Does Donald Trump have the ability to shit in the Presidential limo?

Either way, it’s fodder that is absolutely bloody ripe for one of these classics.

It’s Friday, folks. You know I had to do it to ’em.