Former Australian Prime Minister and man who follows the 11th Commandment “Thou Shalt Not Hold A Hose” Scott Morrison will be releasing his memoir this May. This book will include a section in it written by none other than Home Alone 2 star Donald Trump. Worst book club ever.
Scott (calling him by his surname shows far too much respect), who is most known for being the bloke who’s catchphrase while PM was “That’s not my job”, has somehow managed to find spare time to write a collection of his memoirs, while he is also employed full time as the seated member for Cook.
He’s also got room in his schedule to find work as an international speaker, making you really question where this work ethic was while he was in power.
And it is this hellish period of time, when the Liar From The Shire was leader of Australia, that Scott’s book takes place.
Releasing to all terrible bookstores on May 21, Plans For Your Good: A Prime Minister’s Testimony of God’s Faithfulness will offer readers an inside perspective into how Scott was impacted by his Pentecostal Christian faith during his time as Prime Sin– I mean Minister.
In promoting the book Scott has written what might be the closest to self aware he’s ever been.
“Most politicians write books about what they have done. This is not one of those books,” he writes.
Now the obvious joke here is to say that the reason for this is because Scott didn’t do squat while PM. But the truth is, he did loads.
Remember when he went to Hawaii while the country was on fire? Or that time he ignored serious allegations about sexual assault in his workplace? Or how about when he swore himself in as leader of five different ministries completely unconstitutionally?
If anything, he’s spoilt for choice.
And just in case you weren’t already running off to preorder the book, to really seal the deal Scott’s book includes a special section in the preface written by his close personal friend.
You know, the guy currently facing 90+ felony charges and arguably the most controversial political figure in the world?
And not just him, but his second-in-command Mike Pence will be writing the book’s foreword.
Those are the ethical gurus that Scott wanted his book of “pastoral encouragement” to be prefaced by.
Scott, could you seriously not find a single Australian to get involved in the writing? Surely even Brian Houston or John Howard would have been better choices.
That’s seriously how bad this choice is Scott. I’m supporting Howard.
Not even the world’s best psychologists can understand the unholy amount of mental gymnastics Scott has had to do make this make sense in his brain.
But then again, this is the same guy who bragged about not shooting women when they protested at parliament. So who has a single clue what goes on in that man’s noggin.
I guess we’ll have to wait until May 21 to read and find out.
Review incoming, but I will be taking a shot every time he says “How Good“.
