Greetings binches, remember me? One month ago I did a tarot reading for Sydney’s lockdown, and everyone thought it was a bunch of crazy hoo-ha. Well, guess who was correct? Me. And guess who’s still in lockdown? Pretty much all of us. Suck it.

Well really, I guess we’re all sucking it, because some people just don’t like to stay inside during a lockdown, and there’s no real vaccine rollout as of yet.

But hey, I knew all of this when the lockdown was only just starting up, because I consulted the cards for information. For all of you who didn’t bother clicking on that article because my predictions were scary as fuck, let me run you through just how accurate I was.

It’s okay, I forgive you by the way.

Where did we go wrong?

Alright, a quick gloss over last month’s reading. This was the card for our situation at the moment:

nine of swords

A lot of mental misery, impending chaos, and just plain depresso vibes.

And this was our challenge to get out of all of this:

the world

Yep, The World, as in, we had to all stay the fuck inside or else we would never make it out of this.

It goes without saying that some people took the short-term temptations of the outside world and favoured them over the long-term benefits of staying inside. But hey, I’m sure those trips to JB Hi-Fi for the latest Funko Pop figure were very essential, huh.

What was the outcome of the last reading?

Here’s the thing about the last reading. Although it was not fkn pretty at all, it was open-ended. The choice was ours to choose our own destiny, and ultimately we failed.

seven of cups

The Seven of Cups is all about being spoiled for choice, and each person in this state-wide lockdown was able to choose what they did with their time.

Alas, here we are, ??? days into a lockdown and things are still looking grizzly.

So what now?

Well, last time I did a reading the advice card was all about listening to authorities and not disobeying their orders, which is pretty fkn apt for this situation if you ask me.

So hey, I guess we’ll just keep doin’ what we’re doin’, and get vaxxed if we can.

Until lockdown ends, don’t expect any more tarot readings from me you ungrateful binches.

All adult Aussies (yep, even if those of us under 40) are currently able to get the safe and effective AstraZeneca vaccine through a GP. Talk to a doctor to see if it’s right for you.

Alternatively, you can triple-check to see if you’re eligible for the Pfizer vaccine here.

The best vaccine is the first one you can get, and that’ll be our ticket out of this mess.