
Former Liberal MP-turned-crossbencher Craig Kelly has taken a break from posting about hydroxycholoquine and other unproven COVID-19 treatments to instead go on a weird rant about Cyberpunk 2077.
But our lover of coronavirus conspiracy theories isn’t upset about the game’s notorious glitchiness, or about its choice of five pubic hair styles, among other genital customisation options (something we now have no choice but to presume Kelly is fine with).
No, instead Craig Kelly is upset that the game sold too well in Australia.
“What type of world do we live in today, when the woke try and ‘cancel’ Dr. Seuss, while Cyberpunk 2077 is all the rage where ‘four types of damage can be inflicted and resisted – physical, thermal, EMP and chemical,” he tweeted.
“Clearly promoting great woke wholesome values??”
What type of world do we live in today, when the woke try & “cancel” Dr. Seuss, while ‘CyberPunk 2077’ is all the rage where “4 types of damage can be inflicted & resisted-Physical, Thermal, EMP & Chemical”
Clearly promoting great Woke wholesome values ?? https://t.co/NLlrLaIW5s pic.twitter.com/zXLIERXLAh
— Craig Kelly (@CKellyUAP) April 24, 2021
We’ve done our best to copyedit the above to make it more readable (what is it with unhinged boomers inventing their own syntax and punctuation online?) but the sentiment still stands.
Kelly then linked to a news article reporting that over 400,000 copies of the game were sold in Australia.
Watching Kelly try (and fail) to reach in so many different directions in order to critique so-called “woke cancel culture” was truly a marvel to behold.
Its been like 10 years but this might be the best tweet I’ve ever read on this website https://t.co/bP7fx8KQXa
— Lucy (@LucyXIV) April 25, 2021
i will think about this post every day until i die https://t.co/ADDGnKPkJv
— wheels (@wheelswordsmith) April 25, 2021
Gonna take me a long time to stop thinking about this one https://t.co/LuXc0xbPmE
— Jack Vening (@jack_vening) April 25, 2021
This is the funniest fucking thing. “Not thermal damage!!! Think of the children!!” https://t.co/uEAaQSKDvS
— Brendan Keogh (@BRKeogh) April 25, 2021
The completely random reference to a few Dr Seuss books being recalled for containing racist stereotypes, and then the weak and wholly unconvincing criticism of Cyberpunk 2077 beautifully reflects contrived these kind of online culture war provocations are in the first place.
It’s possible to not be racist and still enjoy a video game which involves *checks notes* inflicting chemical damage. It’s really not the gotcha you think it is, Craig.
Anyway, wait ’til the man hears about the game’s dong physics, and the glitches it entailed.
The federal politician has since returned to his usual programming, which included obligatory ANZAC Day posts and claims about ivermectin (a drug used to treat malaria) being suppressed as a supposed (but completely unproven) coronavirus treatment.
But hey, at least this fleeting moment brought a few laughs and allowed Kelly to alienate a key constituency of the conspiracy theorist right – gamers.