The Nightmarishly Dystopian ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Won’t Let You Bone Keanu Reeves, Sorry

Keanu Reeves will not be smoochable in Cyberpunk 2077.

Not only will Cyberpunk 2077 depict a future radically* different from our present where a number of monolithic megacorporations use their obscene wealth and influence to exploit a growing underclass completely unchecked by governments they effectively control, you also will not be able to date Keanu Reeves. Pretty grim stuff.

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In an interview with Video Games Chronicle explaining how the game’s character customisation will work, CD Projekt Red level designer Max Pears said that Johnny Silverhand (the character played by Reeves) will not be one of the many characters that the protagonist, V, can form a sexual or romantic relationship with.

Silverhand, a cybernetically augmented punk musician, was introduced in the original pen-and-paper roleplaying game Cyberpunk 2020 and will function as a major support character in Cyberpunk 2077.

Keanu Reeves being a major character in a nerd-ass RPG based on a 1980s pen-and-paper game is just about almost as strange as directors Guillermo del Toro and Nicolas Winding Refn playing characters in the upcoming and already utterly bizarre-looking Death Stranding. What a time to be alive.

Cyberpunk 2077 is set to be released on Xbox One, PS4, PC, and Google Stadia in April next year.

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