CONTENT WARNING: This article contains mentions of human trafficking, kidnapping, coercion and allegations of rape.

Doorknob and current world title holder of worst fucknugget of a dudebro (stay mad, virgins) Andrew Tate has penned a poetic email from his Romanian prison cell describing the deplorable conditions he’s been forced to live in. Poor baby.

In case you missed it, Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan were arrested in Romania on charges of human trafficking in late December. They’re still rotting there while under investigation for the alleged kidnapping of two young women from the town of Voluntari, and it’s apparently real grisly in those cells.

Not grisly enough to get Andrew Tate to shut the fuck up though, apparently.

Despite being told he has to spend another 30 days in his cockroach-infested cell, he’s apparently been allowed to write emails and share them with his website subscribers (see: men who can’t get laid). Not even I would write letters to a bunch of men who love and admire me and I’m the twinkiest gay man in Sydney.

“They are trying to break me. Thrown inside a cell without light,” wrote poetess Andrew Plath.

“Cockroaches, lice and bed bugs are my only friends at night.”

It’s giving Dr Seuss. It’s giving “Oh, The Places You’ll Go! (Romanian Prison Edition)”.

“They are trying to break my Iron Mind with unjust imprisonment,” the man who was justly imprisoned wrote.

“My absolute respect for everyone around me is my act of absolute rebellion.

“They cannot break me. My guards know I am innocent. They know it is unjust.

“Please and Thank You stick with me at all times. Such is the Way of Wudan.”

I’m going to need a straight man to translate these messages for me. Then again, I don’t think I want to know what that last part means.

ICYMI, DIICOT (Directorate for Investigating Organized Crime and Terrorism) released a statement on December 29 confirming it raided the homes of suspects linked to coercion, physical violence, sexual exploitation and rape.

It said it identified six victims in a trafficking case who were subjected to “acts of physical violence and mental coercion” and were sexually exploited by members of an alleged crime unit.

The statement alleged that the suspects used the “loverboy method” to lure women to their homes on the promise of romance. They then allegedly kept the women under surveillance, subjected them to intimidation and control tactics, and forced them to work as pornographic models, per local news site G4.

The Tate brothers were not named in the statement, but local publication Gândul confirmed it did indeed pertain to them.

Rot in prison with your lice friends, fuckos.