Pitbull Just Dropped An ‘Africa’ Cover Because Why The Absolute Fuck Not

There is no artist on the planet more fascinating to me than Pitbull. He is a true enigma in the music industry. A man who virtually materialised one day in linen pants, assured everyone he was famous, and was accepted as such, despite no one really understanding who he is or what he’s doing or how he wound up “featuring” on every pop star under the sun’s tracks.

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He is a complete mystery. A walking question mark. How such a man can wear his shirts both loose and tight simultaneously must surely be one of the great riddles of our time. His two self-appointed nicknames – Mr. Worldwide and Mr. 305 – are completely contradictory. Has he travelled globally, extolling the virtues of constantly sweating because the air around him is somehow always at 93% humidity? Or is he trapped perilously within the confines of Miami City Limits, never to escape? There’s literally no way to tell, such is the mystery of Pitbull.

Only deepening that mystery is the release of a new Pitbull track for the Aquaman soundtrack, in which Pitbull – by-god Pitbull – heavily samples the melody and chorus of Toto‘s unmistakable hit, Africa.

What purpose does this serve? What approval process did this go through? Whomst is responsible for this?

Pitbull’s first line sets the tone: “They tried to get rid of me/but from ocean to ocean/they gonna have to deal with me.” Who tried to get rid of Pitbull? What possible evil motivations could impel someone to erase Pitbull’s presence? Why isn’t this the plot of the movie instead?

Beyond that though, the tune is truly bizarre; an up-tempo ditty you’d expect on a Disney Channel movie about a 13-year-old living in Bermuda who saves dolphins from poachers while learning that it’s ok to be yourself. Not, y’know… a reasonably serious DC Comics tentpole.

Still, Pitbull is as Pitbull does. And I’ll walk to the ends of the planet and back again without ever fully understanding him.

That’s his appeal, after all.

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