Seldom are there ever stories that require as little editorialising as this one. Ordinarily we’re able to dance around the point for a couple hundred words on even the most mundane of topics. But on this? Why bother. What’s the point. There’s absolutely zero need for pointless text here at all, because this article contains a video of Jason Momoa performing a haka at the Aquaman premiere in Los Angeles.
That’s really all there is to it.
He rips his jacket off, snaps a prop trident clean in half, and leads his fellow Polynesian cast mates in a rousing war dance that’ll make the hairs on the back of yr neck stand up. And the hairs in other places do a few things as well, probs.
No point beating around the bush about it.
Here’s the video.
Jason Momoa performs a haka dance at the #Aquaman premiere https://t.co/a7Og507hlT pic.twitter.com/enoEApGhq4
— Variety (@Variety) December 13, 2018
Bloody… jesus wept.
Now that we’re at this part of the article, I’m still a hundred or so words short of our SEO filters deeming it an “adequate length” (I mean really). So here’s a list of places you can go cool yr bits off after having watched that outrageously sexual content:
- Bathroom at work.
- Bathroom at home.
- Kitchen, be it private or commercial.
- Public pool.
- Outside tap/hose.
- Fire hydrant.
- Nearby creek.
- Duck pond in the park.
- Industrial car wash.
- Mosh pit at festival on 40-degree day with properly trained security staff.
- The zoo (animals like water).
- Prank flowers at joke store.
- Pub (beverage gun, ask nicely).
- Wet N Wild Gold Coast or Sydney.
- Killer Whale show at Sea World (caution: morally shady).
- Rural water tank.
- Polar ice caps (melting).
That just about… hang on, couple more words left and… there we go.