Have you ever jokingly referred to attending a nightclub as “going to church”? Well, now’s your chance to make that gag a reality in Fitzroy. All you’ll need is a spare few million dollarydoos.

For the low low price of $5.7 and $6.2 million, a beautifully refurbished church in Melbourne’s plant milk capital of Fitzroy can be yours.

Arch Staver is the director at real estate company Nelson Alexander and he reckons the Fitzroy space is pretty sweet, especially the raised wooden mezzanine. Although, I feel like he might be biased for some reason.

“It could be a fun place if kids want to camp out, it could be a home office or a living space,” Staver told realestate.com.au.

“It might be the place you position the DJ during parties.”

This recommendation might be the only time a real estate agent has said or done anything useful.

Not gonna lie that platform does look like it would lend itself to a mid-twenties fuckhead DJ with a moustache standing there after pressing play on a mashup of Abba and Fisher.

The Fitzroy redevelopment was taken on by previous owner who is only mentioned in the write-ups as “Mr Morris” which sounds very mysterious.

The man of myth and legend Mr Morris is selling the property because he is “at the stage of his life where he is spending more time at the beach”. Must be nice. Must be very nice.

If you’re looking for a spot in Fitzroy that rivals even Troye Sivan‘s bonkers Carlton abode and don’t mind splashing a couple milly, look no further. Here’s the full listing.

If you’re allergic to vintage stores and think Doc Marten is a practising medical professional, do look further.

This listing comes a week after Aussie king of the stage and screen Hugh Jackman listed his New York City condo for $55 million.

For the time being, I’m just gonna lie to myself and say I’m totes fine in my three-person share house. Living, loving, laughing.

Image: YouTube @NelsonAlexander