These Squirt Blankets Will Keep Yr Sex Juices Intact At 3am & Double As A Picnic Rug At 4pm

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Throwing down between the sheets can be messy business, friends — especially if you’ve chosen to do the deed while on your period or if you’re someone who squirts. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter: the handy sex blanket (aka the difference between a half-hour post-fuck clean-up and a five-minute one).

What is a sex blanket?

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Waterproof Splash Blanket from $50.95 (with code ‘PTV15’)

Designed to save your bed linen, towels, couch covers and mattresses, a sex or squirt blanket is a specially designed blanket that’s 100% waterproof and absorbs all kinds of liquids — think periods, squirting, lube etc.  You simply lay it down before you have sex or masturbate, and you can orgasm freely without thinking about the post-cum cleanup. We’ve all slept in a wet patch before, and it ain’t it!

Where can you buy squirt blankets?

Good question! While you can buy some tarp-esque blankets from sex toy stores, we’d recommend this one from Splash Blankets. The 100% waterproof squirt blankets come in three different sizes — small, medium and large — and come in an array of colours to suit your space, so it’s not glaringly obvious you own a sex blanket. Unlike more traditional options, they’re soft to the touch, with one side of the blanket being a super-soft fleece while the other is a smooth velvet available in a bunch of colours. Much nicer than that musty towel you’ve been whacking down.

Now I know the lush velvet and fleece might sound a bit hot and heavy RN, given we’re being pummelled with 30-degree day after 30-degree day, but Splash Blankets have dropped an all-new lightweight, waterproof and bamboo version to keep you going — even in the heat. Available now, you can nab this baby in black, charcoal, caramel latte or vanilla bean in medium or large.

Waterproof Summer Splash Blanket in Caramel Latte, $58.65 (with code PTV15)

How do you take care of a sex blanket?

According to Splash Blanket, the best squirt blankets offer a fuss-free cleanup, hence why you can simply throw this one in your washing machine on a cold, delicate setting (sans fabric softener), and you’re off. Then it’s simply a case of pegging it out to air dry or chucking it in the drier for a low tumble dry. Bonus, not only do they last up to 100 washes, but they’re also stain-proof, so ‘ave at it.

What are the benefits of owning a sex blanket?

Well, aside from the fuss-free cleaning up if you’re someone who squirts or gushes during an orgasm, they’re also fabulous if you like to dabble in period sex without wanting to press up against a shower screen. (It’s all hot and sexy until someone gets water in their eyes or pressed up against a tap.) It’s also great for people who have bladder issues post-pregnancy and need that extra layer between them and the sheets.

The biggest benefit of all would have to be the fact that you can go to town on top of one of these blankets (period sex or not) without getting in your head about cleaning up afterwards. You can let go and let the floodgates open without a care in the world.

Hell, you can even test its versatility by using it as a waterproof picnic rug or a back-seat shield for sandy beach trips.

Considering these bad bois will only set you back around $50.95 for a small one, we wouldn’t mind forking out for a blanket or two. We dunno about you, but we’d much rather wash one layer than a whole set of ’em. Plus, we scored you (our loyal readers) a sexy little discount of 15% off ALL sex blankets, just use the code ‘PTV15’. Thank us later.