After Very Hard Work, I Figured Out How To Use This Seated Vibrator, So Midday Mazz Cum At Me

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There are very few vibrator styles left on the internet that I haven’t tried. As PTV’s self-appointed sex toys expert, I’ve mazzed my way through everything from rabbits to eggs and couples vibrators. So when the boss lady asked me to try out the best-selling seated vibrator from Nasty Gal, I was, of course, down. 

Initial thoughts

We’re currently in locky D, and I’m in the middle of moving apartments, so I had it sent to my best friend’s place whose couch I’ve been living on temporarily. Initially, I was a little disappointed that it was battery powered because it meant I couldn’t give it the old college try straight away (perks of WFH, huh?). However, that feeling slowly dissipated when I realised how awkward it might be to test this bad boy out while living with my best friend and her boyfriend. Luckily for me, I was moving out in a few days and could pick up some batteries in the meantime. 

seated vibrator
You can buy the Textured Silicone Seat Vibrator (was $82, now $32.80) here.

Narrator: three days later. 

The testing phase

Settled into my new apartment, and with very little to do in locky D, I decided to give the new seated vibrator a whirl… once I figured out how best to actually sit on it. The floor, bed and kitchen stools were all not great options for me, something about the height and angles and how I had to position my legs didn’t really work, so I had to go with a basic chair. Luckily, the vibrator is made from soft, velvet-like silicone, so once you find a solid seated position, it actually feels good to sit on/ grind against. The curves and textured ridge also mean it has multiple stimulation points for the clit, vagina opening and butt, so how you sit on it is totally up to you. 

Once I figured out how to sit on it, it was time to pick a vibe. It has ten different vibes, so once I thumbed through them like I do my Netflix cue and found the one for me, I was off. 

Post-cum thoughts

It was a lot more work than I was expecting. You really have to kind of ride it like you’re dry humping a guy through his jeans before you get to the good stuff. This also means your legs have to be in a good position to make it work. Plus, you kind of have to be one of those people who can mazz from memories or imaginary scenarios in your head because all that work makes it kind of hard to watch porn while riding. 

Lucky for me, the guy I’m dating has given me plenty of material lately to provide orgasms both in the moment and after the fact. Thanks, babe. 

Overall

Did I orgasm? Yes. Would it be my new go-to? Probably not. Mainly because of the legwork (literally) involved in using it. That said, you could always just… not sit on it and use the different edges to masturbate manually, which I can confirm works just as good. (The battery on my OG was dead, so the seated one got the call-up.) If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind a little analogue mazz to help the tech do their bit, this vibrator is 10/10 for you, my friend.

One thing I am keen to try, though, is using it while mutually masturbating with the guy I’m dating. I feel like the seated situation could have some real benefits — great angles, great imagination triggers for both him and me, and would ultimately rile him up enough to swap places with my chair. So I’ll keep you posted on how that one goes. (Babe, if you’re reading this, don’t make plans tomorrow night.) 

The final thing I’ll say that I love about it is the affordability. It’s currently 60% off, $32.80, usually $82, so why not give it a whirl? Who knows, the seated vibrator could be your new ride or die. 

Want to read more sex toy reviews? You can check out Humble Opinions on the best sex toys here.

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