Did you know the designation ‘Colonel’, as in Colonel Sanders, is an honorary title and not a military rank? The US state doles them out to civilians they deem especially meritorious, and notable Kentucky Colonels include Princess Kate, Jennifer Lawrence, and Betty White.
Only one Kentucky Colonel is the subject of a new dating sim, though – and it’s not one of the Golden Girls.
That’s right, gamers. It’s time to fuck the chicken man.
Game Informer reports I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator will appear on Steam later this month, giving players the opportunity to woo a zaddified version of the late fast food mogul.
The game puts players in the position of a young culinary student, hungry (and thirsty) for knowledge and the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices. Here’s how developers Psyop put it:
Do you have what it takes to survive culinary school? Will Colonel Sanders choose you to be his business partner? Or maybe even so much more?
A trailer features Harland himself, along with stand-ins for KFC competitors and the noble Professor Dog.
While I am loathe to entertain marketing tie-ins, the fact Kuffa is leaning into this kind of bullshit is noteworthy. It’s more palatable than some of their other efforts, at least.
In the meantime, we’re hoping a game where you seduce Colonel Billy Ray Cyrus is next up. Yes, he’s also a Kentucky Colonel. Check for yourself.Image: Steam