As you’ve probably heard by now, Zac Efron has shacked up with an Aussie, and no, it isn’t me. Vanessa Valladares, 25, is the lucky lady, and so we’ve decided to gather as much tea as we can on who the hell she is.

As the stories go, the pair met back in July at Byron Bay General Store, an iconic cafe where Valladares works. Efron, the ripped-to-the-heavens stud, was only there for a bite, in a meeting scene that would make for a legendary rom-com one day.

A few weeks ago they returned from their romantic ski vacay in Thredbo, happy as ever, which is a real bummer for anyone hoping to catch their chance with the actor.

Last month Zaccy boy cancelled his flight back to the US, after extending his tourist visa from three to 12 months, allegedly to stay with his brand new girl at Belongil Beach.

So here’s exactly what we know so far about Miss Valladares.

With a rather small amount of followers to boot (under 4K), we can see that Valladares is, for the most part, a normal Aussie girl. Photos, though lush and incredible to look at, only garner around 160 likes, sometimes 220 at best. Compared to Efron, who has 43.6 million followers, we can see that it wasn’t the fame or following that drew him in.

Valladares is also hella into poetry, and I mean, she really digs the stuff. Every one of her posts has some sort of spiritual and poetic flair, and sometimes she’ll post straight-up poetry.

According to her Insta, Valladares was supposed to be in Africa this year, but decided to “lean into these chaotic creative waters” that COVID has provided. In embracing the clutches of Miss ‘Rona, she ended up with Efron, so maybe manifestation isn’t such a far-fetched idea after all.

Also, it bears repeating, this girl is SUPER spiritual. Most captions, like the one below, read like meditations.

Okay, we lied. She isn’t entirely normal. She models, here and there, but can you blame her? The girl is absolutely smoking, and it is no surprise that Efron was swooned off his feet after ordering an espresso. (I dunno, he really looks like an espresso kinda guy.)

Modelling for brands like RVCA and Spell, she isn’t doing Paris Fashion Week anytime soon, but she still has the credentials on her resume (and the bragging rights).

So yeah, she’s sun-kissed, scorching hot, and practices gratitude. I too would be practising gratitude if I woke up beside Zac Efron, but alas.

Vanessa Valladares is now rumoured to have quit her job, and is said to be staying with Zac.