I Need A Lobotomy After Reading This Interview With Britney Spears’ Ex-Husband Sam Asghari

While I’m certain the algorithm knows me better than my mother, sometimes when I’m scrolling I will come across content that I have to see against my will. In this case, a new interview with Britney Spears‘ ex-husband Sam Asghari has popped up and I feel as though my whole being has been shook and shaken.

In a photoshoot spread with Interview Mag for their fall issue, the 29-year-old model-slash-actor let us into the inner recesses of his mind and if you didn’t think he was shady before you’re going to be haunted by his responses.

Among the cerebral delights featured are:

Which celebrity do you most want to sleep with?

Borat. I’m attracted to his mustache. I find the way he says “very nice” extremely sexy. Haha.”

Nope, I hate it here.

Also this hurts my brain:

Where do you go to hide?

My butt is too big to hide. I was the worst person at hide-and-go-seek.”

And another pearl of wisdom for good measure:

What do you tell yourself when no one else can hear?

‘Dang you’ve got a great ASS.’”

Elsewhere in the spread there a notable winks to his relationship with Britney which ended in separation this past August after just over a year of marriage. If we didn’t think he was riding on the coattails of Britney’s fame before he’s sure as shit not hiding it now. The title of the interview is ‘Sam Asghari Drives Them Crazy’ a not so subtle node to Britney’s hit 1999 song (You Drive Me) Crazy. And there’s no need to read between the lines of the picture where he is wearing a shirt emblazoned with ‘LUCKY’ again a reference to Britney’s 2000 track Lucky.

There’s also much to be said about the timing of this feature interview which has landed smack bang in the middle of the promotion of Britney’s new memoir ‘The Woman In Me’. He’s once again capitalising on her name and it feels fucken icky.

Rumour has it, Sam is trying to make a big crack at Hollywood but methinks he forgets that Britney has plenty of supporters all throughout the entertainment industry. Nice try! And he certainly isn’t getting any flowers from the online community with hoards of comments flooding through on Interview Mag’s Instagram post that are less than savoury.

“Wasn’t he threatening Britney if she didn’t give him any money that he would release embarrassing and threatening information against her??? Why are we supporting him,” wrote one user.

“Not one positive comment I’m crying,” wrote another.

“Imagine being so delusional you’d think this was your moment to shine,” said another user.

If Sam thought he could springboard from his divorce into a hearty career in showbiz after treating one Ms Britney Jean Spears like dirt he truly is delulu.

It’s not looking good, buddy!