Oh Fuck, It’s Mercury Retrograde Again: Here’s Exactly What Chaos Your Sign Is In For

D’ya want the good news or the bad news first? Well, the bad news is that the dreaded Mercury Retrograde has started today which means bad shit is coming at us.

But the good news is that it’s the last one of the year, so if we survive this, it’ll be smooth sailing ’til 2021 (astrologically speaking, anyway).

So what exactly does the final Mercury Retrograde of the year have in store for us? Well, this one is stationed in Scorpio, a sign known for its penchant for darkness and its obsession with secrecy.

Be extra careful for the next three weeks as secrets you’ve tried to keep hidden may leak, and with Mercury Retrograde messing with technology as it always does, this could even present itself in a literal phone hack or the accidental sending of a message TO the person you’ve just been bitching about (we’re all been there).

On the flip side, it could also mean that you may come across some spicy deets about someone else, and that could be a fun time (unless you read something you really wish you hadn’t read, which is likely as Mercury Retrograde makes all forms of communication go awry).

We’ve sussed exactly how this final Mercury Retrograde will impact your sign, plus provided you with a few tips on how to deal. Don’t say you weren’t warned.


This Mercury Retrograde, you’ll be feeling hella uneasy and what’s worse is that you won’t be able to pinpoint exactly where this feeling is coming from.

In order to get to the root of the problem, you’ll need to do what’s called emotional inventory, where you take stock of what’s been going down over the past few months to figure out where you’re falling short.

Are there unresolved feelings with someone who ghosted you / who you ghosted? Is there a debt that you forgot to pay? Have you been neglecting a loved one in trouble?

Dig deep and figure it out – you won’t feel at ease until it’s solved, unfortch.


Because Mercury is the planet of communication, when it goes retrograde, all forms of communicating are on the fritz, so your first impressions of people you meet during this time will be off.

You may meet someone and think they’re a total doll at first, then soon realise the opposite is true. Or perhaps you’ve already met this person and their behaviour over the next three weeks will change your opinion of them.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it will eventually bring you clarity, but you may find yourself in some uncomfortable situations before you get there.


Ya know that age-old saying, when we make a plan, god laughs? Scrub that. When we make a plan, Mercury laughs.

Onya for working on your schedule and putting a plan in place to conquer whatever shit you need to get done, but sadly this season will throw many a spanner into those cogs you’ve got going on.

The solution? Just be as flexible as you can during Mercury Retrograde. Hey, you are a Gemini after all, a multi-headed creature (metaphorically, ofc). Bring this energy into your everyday life and you’ll be sweet.


Mercury Retrograde is known to make our heads all cloudy as we grapple with all the chaos going down. This won’t be the case for you, Cancer. Quite the opposite.

Instead of your mind being all cloudy, you’ll be bombarded with new perspectives and means of expression that could potentially throw out your current mode of thinking and open you up to a new one.

WTAF does that mean? Well basically you’ll start to analyse your life and test drive new things, whether it be a new system at work or a new approach to dating apps.

I know you’re generally not supposed to start anything new during Mercury Retrograde, but in this case, the planets say to proceed (with caution!).


Problems from your past will resurface over the next three weeks *insert eye roll*. From old insecurities, to unpaid debts, to shitty exes.

As communication is absolute bullshit during Mercury Retrograde, you’ll also encounter folks who are on a mad power trip and trying to stifle you in any way they can.

I wouldn’t recommend charging at this head on as, again, communication is haywire and things may be misconstrued.

As tough as it is for a fire sign, you’ll need to be clever, cunning and calculating. Approach the next few weeks as a chess game. Check m8.


While most people enjoy watching drama unfold and eating popcorn as it happens, Virgos often find drama to be a huge nuisance as it’s a big ol’ mess and you Earthy bbs fkn hate messes.

If you find yourself dragged into someone else’s petty drama, use your clear and concise Virgoness to guide you through the situation.

While everyone is running around like headless chooks, firing bitchy emails and feisty DMs, be the level-headed, erm, chook, and seek peace.


I know this is shitty timing since, for a lot of you, your birthday falls during Mercury Retrograde, but you’re about to get stung by some financial woes.

This could be a bill that you forgot to pay that’s now slapped you with a late fee, an unfortunate fine or maybe even the overwhelming expense of celebrating your bday (‘cos nothing in this fkn world is cheap).

You’ve been forewarned about this money drama so it’s time to get forearmed – pull back on the spending and hold on to your dollarydoos so you can rescue yourself from financial hell.

Do you really need a brand new, expensive as fuck birthday outfit or is there something in the back of your closet that you’d purchased pre-‘rona and have yet to wear that could make for a fabulous bday lewk?


Greetings, my fellow Scorps. Yep, our birthdays are approaching and sadly for a lot of us, they will fall during the retrograde period. Massive bummer, I know, but if anyone can handle it, it’s us sturdy Scorpios.

Certain commitments that you made earlier this year will suddenly be put under the microscope as the events of this period will have you questioning everything.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it’s important to be analytical (especially with ‘yuge commitments), but your head is likely to get a little cloudy as you try to navigate your way through.

My only advice is to go with the flow and not be too rigid about shit. Just because something made sense a few months back, doesn’t mean it has to make sense now. Don’t restrict your options or you’ll end up going down a path of unhappiness and we don’t want that, do we?


While Mercury Retrograde is often known (and feared) as the bringer of chaos, that’s not its only trope. Sometimes it brings shit to a standstill, due to the unwiring of communication and transportation (both literal and metaphorical).

The stars are warning you to take it easy over the next few weeks and just trust in the processes you put into place before retrograde began. No matter what’s thrown at you, just be sure to not deviate from previously laid plans as those are the ones that make the most sense for you.

I know sitting tight ain’t no easy feat for a fiery, adventure-loving Sag, but you can do anything you bloody well set your mind to, right? And I promise you it’ll pay off in the long run.


Mercury Retrograde will have you questioning whatever methods you have in place for getting shit done and some readjusting might be in order there.

But the main theme of the next few weeks will be friendships and, uh, I’m gonna level with ya here: it ain’t pretty.

You’ll find yourself smack bang in the middle of some drama and the advice here is to try and keep your head above it, rather than getting sucked in to the pettiness.

You may also need to re-evaluate the way you communicate with your wider circle of friends and connections ‘cos there’s some resentment brewing there. Be super super careful on that communication part as this is one of the things that goes awry during Mercury Retrograde and you don’t wanna risk being misconstrued in a negative way and stoking the flames of whatever fire is burning.


Aquarius folk generally don’t give a damn about how people see them, particularly at work, but with things going all wonky during Mercury Retrograde, you’re gonna start to care (and for good reason).

According to the stars, there’s some kind of work drama on its way and it’ll force you to ensure that you’re on top of your shit.

It might also be worth reaching out to former colleagues for advice and assistance on whatever the trouble may be.

This time is all about reconnecting with folks from your past, so you may as well use this to your advantage and who knows, you might walk away from this in a better position than where you started.


As a detail-oriented Pisces, you’re absolutely one to sweat the small stuff ‘cos you love everything to be just so, but that’s not always possible (especially during Mercury Retrograde), which leaves you feeling upset and disappointed.

Your attention-to-detail is part of what makes you a fab human, so never lose that, but you must also learn to not get too emotionally invested and if things don’t go the way you thought they would, just brush it off and move on. Again, it’s Mercury Retrograde, so almost nothing will go the way you thought it would.

If you’re feeling bogged down in your current circle of connections, reach out to people who you haven’t spoken to in a while for a fresh perspective, be it an old colleague, a friend you’ve lost touch with, perhaps even an ex.

Uncertainty is certain during this time, so step out of your current routine and try something new.

Mercury Retrograde ends on November 3. For more advice on how to handle Mercury Retrograde, suss out our guide here.