Greetings folks. Mercury retrograde, that dreaded bitch that quite literally scrambles our lives into a hot mess every year is coming in just a couple days, so here is what you can do to prepare yourself.
Mercury will be in retrograde three times in 2021, with the first lasting from January 30 to March 13, which is uhhh, almost two entire months of hell, so we have that to look forward to at least. Every retrograde is always a time to look to the past, and start absolutely nothing new. Just be still, nobody move, and maybe we can make it out alive.
Pretty much every sign feels the effects of the retrograde, and depending on which sign it occurs in can mean different things for you and your sign. Because we’re currently in Aquarius season, the first retrograde of the year will be about communications. Things will start breaking down in the workplace, and plans will just go to shit because nobody is talking to each other.
So yeah, this isn’t the relationships retrograde, so you can breathe when it comes to that, but let’s have a look at how your sign will feel the effects of this retrograde.
Aries
DMs coming from the nether world of 2018, spawns of satan hitting you up, burnt bridges coming back to haunt you. Some people will be looking to the past this retrograde, but your past will be looking at you, Aries. Just uhhh, don’t text your ex back, please.
Capricorn
Watch your goddamn money please Capricorns, because it will slip out of your fingers this retrograde. Maybe it’s a good time to start carefully calculating how much you spend, because things can easily get out of control. We want the planets to go backwards, not your bank account.
Libra
Keep up the romance, Libra legends, because your Valentines Day is going to be a very good one, if you play your cards right. It’s easy to let this time scare you out of being romantic and communicating with potential/existing loved ones, but keep at it, and you’ll get a lot out of this time. Good news!
Gemini
Time to pull some typical Hollywood theatrics and enter your master-student phase of life. Think Karate Kid, except you’re the one who doesn’t know shit instead of being the teacher. It’s time to learn a thing or two from the people in your life who have their shit together, because in retrograde, you definitely won’t.
Aquarius
Congrats Aquarius friends, the Mercury retrograde falls in your season. As you probably already know, this is the best time to be an Aquarius, and so I can confidently tell you that you’ll basically be sitting in your throne and watching everyone scramble around headless for a couple of weeks. Enjoy!
Cancer
Communication is key cancer, and it unlocks almost every door for you this retrograde. However, communication is also more difficult at this time, so that’s where things get tricky. Your sex life, relationships and work situations all hang on the balance of you speaking up for yourself and standing for what you believe in, you just need to push yourself to actually say something.
Sagittarius
Hello sag sibling, this Mercury retrograde we are going to become total dumbasses. Well, moreso than we already are. I’m talking a real regression in simple knowledge. Our phones will start to become more difficult to use, and basic conversations will be filled with slip-ups and losing your train of thought.
It’s good to try and keep your mind on your goals and achieve them in small steps, because too much on your plate this retrograde will lead to a useless little Sag, floundering around. But hey, we got this! One step at a time, yeah?
Leo
You’ve got a lot happening for you this retrograde Leo, but you need to focus on the little things that you’ve been neglecting. Deep down there are things you need to get done, but you continue to distract yourself with the larger tasks, or the tasks that are more fun.
Let’s avoid total destruction this retrograde Leo, and start paying attention to the little things in life that require our attention.
Taurus
Love? Not quite. A total reset of everything you believe in? Yeah. Time to hit the factory reset button this Mercury retrograde friends, because whatever you’re doing now isn’t working that well, and you know it.
Now, when I say that, I mean in one particular field. It could be relationships, work-life or family, but there’s just that one little something that you’re not quite perfecting. If you change your approach, things will be perfect, but if you don’t, this retrograde is going to make sure you learn the hard way.
Pisces
Your ability to communicate in the realm of sharp thinking will be dulled a little this Mercury retrograde, but that just means that it’s the perfect time to start thinking creatively! Instead of wondering why your brain isn’t working at full capacity, try to embrace your imagination, and find new ways to tackle all the fuckery that comes your way that are a bit more colourful.
Scorpio
Whether you like it or not, this retrograde is going to put family at the forefront of your mind. If this is good news, embrace it, but if it isn’t, it might be a good time to find ways to avoid it, or else it’ll become an overwhelming problem in the future.
Mercury retrograde is less about problems suddenly coming your way, and more about finding ways to deal with things preemptively so that you don’t become overwhelmed with one million problems in the future.
Virgo
If there was ever a sign that was immune to Mercury retrograde, it would be Virgo. You might hear people complaining about this retrograde a lot, but you really won’t be able to understand what they mean, because it’ll just feel like normal days to you. I guess, if anything, your challenge is learning how to hear them complain all the time and show genuine empathy.
