In completely welcomed news, approximately 76,000 Melburnians are planning to scream from their front yards at 7PM tonight until they feel better. Fuck – and I cannot stress this enough – yes.
The movement was initiated by the aptly-titled Facebook event Stand on your front porch and scream, which encouraged all cooped-up Melburnians to do just that.
“Covid’s shit. Every1s a bit sad,” the event’s description reads. “Just stand on ur porch and scream until u feel a bit better. Let’s all unite in our shared depression.”
The movement has gone gangbusters in the past few days, with thousands revelling in the opportunity to let out a bunch of steam together.
So, to all the Melburnites out there, may you scream harder than you’ve ever screamed in your lives. This is your moment – not only an opportunity for deep catharsis, but a time to metaphorically give ‘Rona the middle finger.
To those outside Melbourne, and across the nation, why not scream in solidarity? We’re all in this together, at the end of the day.
Start warming up those vocal cords, mates – the show begins in T-2 hours.