In news that is absolutely shocking to have to report, the Victorian Police Minister has today reminded people that no, it is not okay to drive from Melbourne to Wodonga for a Big Mac, which is a very real way somebody was caught breaking restrictions this weekend.

“Just in case there is any doubt at all, that there is absolutely no reason or need to drive from Melbourne to Wodonga to have a Big Mac,” Police Minister Lisa Neville clarified today. 

“There is absolutely no reason or need to drive from Melbourne to Ballarat for fresh air. There is absolutely no reason to drive from Werribee out to Springvale to buy groceries. They are just three of the fines that we saw issued yesterday … and those people will have received a fine yesterday.”

It sounds like a joke, but these are all very real reasons people copped the $1652 fine this week. But it didn’t just stop there, nope. Other “covidiots” flouted restrictions by:

  • Travelling from Thornbury to Werribee to get a haircut from his favourite barber.
  • Travelling from Bentleigh East to Sunbury for takeaway.
  • Travelling from Melbourne to Ballarat, not once but *TWICE* to get some “fresh air.”

And let’s not be mistaken here, these are just the people who were actually caught. There is undoubtedly more people flouting restrictions in these sorts of ridiculous ways who have, so far, gone undetected. It’s absolute madness.

Realistically, unless you’re travelling to work, school or for the purpose of caregiving, there’s no real reason to leave your suburb. It truly isn’t that hard.

So, just so we’re all on the same page here Victoria, you cannot (I repeat – CAN NOT) drive to Wodonga for a burger. Just don’t do it.

If you live in metro Melbourne, chances are you’ve got access to at least one food delivery app, and probably have a decent takeaway joint within walking distance of your house. There is simply no need to drive this far for anything, especially not some takeaway.

We’re already on the brink of a full lockdown, so let’s all just go ahead and stay home, alright?