Wow, okay: according to gossip outlet Now To Love, two of this year’s Married At First Sight contestants have gone and got themselves knocked up. And – surprise! – it’s ultra-sweet perma-virgin Matthew and his ultra-sweet “wife” Lauren who have supposedly found themselves firmly up the duff.
Now, we must obviously take this all with a hefty grain of salt, as the rumours about the show’s hapless contestants appear to exist on a different plane of reality to the rest of us entirely – please see New Idea‘s recent assertion that the pair have, in fact, split up – but don’t you just love this as a concept?
In case you haven’t been glued to the telly of a weekday night, Matthew is (or should we say WAS) a 29-year-old virgin who was understandably nervous about losing his V-plates. His partner is Lauren, who has a kind of hippie kindergarten teacher energy and who I very deeply want to be friends with. Proving that the experts aren’t simply stabbing a cocktail garnish at a bingo board of contestants in order to pair them up – or maybe proving that the cocktail stick bingo board method works at least 10% of the time – Matthew and Lauren have really hit it off. They even Did It while on their honeymoon.
— Married At First Sight (@MarriedAU) February 10, 2019
And according to last night’s commitment ceremony, they remain pretty into each other. So I guess it’s not completely unfeasible that the two of them would be rushing into parenthood in the same way they’ve rushed into marriage and their first ever sexual intimacy?
Now To Love reckons they’re totally preganté, quoting Matthew as saying:
I feel like being a dad is the opportunity to help build someone better than me, to pass on the lessons I’ve learnt and help them become better than I ever could be. […] I’ll be a dad who’s there and consciously spends time with his kids.
Could this all be theoretical, “if we have kids” talk? Yes. Is it more fun to imagine that a couple set up by an ethically bankrupt reality TV show have actually found in each other life partners and happy co-parents? YES. Good on you, ya crazy kids! Congrats!