Home Stays continue for the Episode 31 recap of MAFS 2024. Will more people have sex out of the confines of Skye Suites? Time will tell!
Ridge is visiting Jade‘s family. He’s trying not to be immature in front of them so instead goes into Jade’s room and sits on her bed where he “does his best work”.
Tim‘s horrible Best Man, Ben, has returned because when Sara‘s not cheating, this relationship is boring and needs some rancid chicken-shaped shaking up.
Ben asks Tim if Sara’s apartment is “over-styled and cold” — perhaps like the way she justifies her emotional cheating to the table at Darlinghurst’s Don’t Tell Aunty (great venue, thought I’d drop that plug in).
Sadly for Ben, Sara’s frosty side has come out because he has dared to interrupt her excuses for lying to Tim.
Meanwhile, Jack and Tori are on the Goldy where he’s pointing things out like Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! and where he likely vomited out the front of Sin City when he was 18. Or 23. Or 33.
Jack has the same syndrome of those who live in New York City or Bondi Beach, where they couldn’t possibly understand how anyone could live anywhere else. He is, however, worried about Tori in this northern climate.
Considering she doesn’t know how to apply sunscreen, so am I. Perhaps they could get it from UberEats? With the tuna and the obvious product placement?
The place where Jack works as a personal trainer has been revealed and TBH, I’m not sure the company would like this knowing what they know now.
At least the picture of him on the wall isn’t totally horrible. Perhaps he should let his hair down a little more, or simply a little looser? And not just because I’m afraid a brain vessel might pop.
“Tori’s one of those annoying clients. Nothing I haven’t seen before, nothing I can’t handle,” he comments while training Tori at his gym.
Meanwhile, Jade‘s family are worried about a child, like Ridge, taking on another child, like Jade’s daughter, Victoria — even though he has slowly but surely been eliminating words like “dogging” from his vocabulary.
It’s time for Tori to meet Jack’s friends. I say “friends” loosely considering they pay him for his time. Anyway, he is excied for his friend-clients to apply the heat to his MAFS wife.
“We’re just like, building intimacy without like, erotica I suppose,” Jack tells his friends clients.
Lizz (the blonde/purple-grey one) asks Tori if Jack having a lot of girl friends concerns her. Tori says no because she has a lot of guy friends, so she gets it.
“I’m concerned by that,” Lizz, the one who stated that Jack has a lot of girl friends, tells Tori.
“It’s usually because they’re sleeping with all the boys,” Lizz adds.
I never thought I’d be jumping in to defend Tori but here we are. Lizz needs to fucking check herself.
“I haven’t slept with my friendship group,” Tori confirms.
You know what, I have a lot of respect for Tori because of the way she handled that situation. I would’ve jumped the table. Perhaps Tori kept her previous hypocrisy during this experiment in mind when reacting?
Lizz then tells Tori that her wedding vows came across as “bossy” and that Tori’s not someone she’d be friends with.
“Anyone who makes their coffee order their personality is not my kind of person,” Lizz continues.
Jack is more interested in the french fries than defending Tori from his evil friend-client. Even after Lizz more or less called Tori a “coffee wanker” from Melbourne.
“I got the impression you were basic,” Lizz continues and at this point, I’m surprised there are any insults left to give.
Jack joins the chat. He tells his friend-clients that he is usually into “girly girls” but not to sweat! Tori gets her nails done.
“You’ve been single for a while,” Lizz tells Tori. “Jack’s got a six pack, we don’t know, maybe you’re trying to make it work for the wrong reasons.”
In other areas of the MAFS experiment, Sara takes Tim out on a boat so they’re destined to fight like the MAFS couples who sailed this ship before them.
Tim feels like he’s not allowed to voice his hesitations, and Sara just wants to enjoy their last date, OK? Bit rich coming from someone who chucked a sicky for three of the previous ones.
Anyway, luck’s not on her side because MAFS boats are cursed.
See Season Nine’s Tamara and Brent…
…and Season 10’s Alyssa and Duncan.
Sara starts crying over how many times they’ve discussed the fact that she lied to Tim and sorry, don’t care, this is your doing.
Luckily for Sara and her vocal chords, they decide to move on.
Ridge has hired a holiday rental to be his authentic self in, and by that I mean he’s got the tits out for his girl.
Jade’s worried that Ridge isn’t ready to move in with her. He says that Jade’s “it” for him and he’ll do anything to make it work.
Tori and Jack are out for a fine-dining experience. She’s expressing to him the concerns she has about moving to the Gold Coast, and it has nothing to do with the abundance of City Beach stores.
She’s worried about what her life will look like, especially when he’s at work, because it will take her a while to build a network herself.
“Liz was there representing you and she did a real shit job,” Tori tells him. I do not disagree.
Jack wants Tori to move in with him straight away BUT if they do long-distance he wouldn’t want to see her every weekend, as she suggests.
She is pissed off because he’s being half-assed about the whole thing.
Jack tells Tori she sounds hell-bent on the weekend thing and that she looks hell-bent, while doing this bunny ear air quotation mark thing that makes zero sense.
He thinks catching a plane (feelings TBC) every weekend isn’t practical and that she’ll just need to move to the Gold Coast quicker.
“You can’t have it all. I feel like you’re Liz right now with these questions,” he laughs.
He says he sees a future with her. But then to the camera he says he’s trying to “get it over the line” before final vows. What the?
There is a box on the table with a gift and if it’s supplement vouchers I will actually lose my shit.
It’s a bracelet and now he’s saying how hot she looks. Is tonight, the night, where two become one?
He wants to go home and “keep the party alive”, so I think I might be right.
Or are they playing us? Guess we’ll find out in the next MAFS recap.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. Follow her here.
