We are up to Episode 30 of the Married At First Sight 2024 recaps. That’s a lot of fucking episodes, people. It’s amazing we still have any brain cells left!
As we head into Home Stays Week on MAFS, Ridge has #gifted Jade some dick-flavoured blueberries
Timothy‘s feeling quite exhausted from opening up about his grief over the last few weeks. He’s more familiar with boxing things up.
“It mightn’t be healthy, [but] it’s the way that I can exist,” Timothy explains. “I’m completely drained.”
Lucinda understands where he’s coming from and reiterates that she’ll never judge him for that. Is this a… second kiss attempt?
Things are suitably awkward with Jayden and Eden. Does anyone else get lecture vibes from him when these two argue? I no likey!
She has taken some time away from him and does not return in time for their flight to the Gold Coast, where they both existed before this experiment. Jayden is confused, which is something men tend to do after they drive women away.
Lauren’s alive which is a well-timed realisation for our producers who only have to foot the bill of one Perth ticket for Home Stays.
Side note: Why do I feel like something is going to come out about this time she was back in Perth without Jono? Remember when Season 8’s Beck Zemeck went home for her dog, and then at the MAFS Reunion a video of her and that dude surfaced?
Anyway, Lauren and Jono have hugged hello even though they haven’t seen each other in over a week.
The platonic pair start joking about rooting during Jono’s time in Perth, however, the bloke might struggle to get it up with Lauren’s teddy bear watching on.
Meanwhile, Timothy’s place is a bit gross which makes no sense because whoever has been living here for the past two months ain’t him.
Lucinda thinks there’s not enough space to swing a cat, or a poodle, which is apparently something people like to do in the comfort of their own home.
Something else people like to do in their humble abode? Break industrial photocopiers with their ass.
Great news: Eden’s on the next flight — a good thing because now she can show Jayden how to use an Uber.
Lauren’s best friend, Mackenzie, tries to give Jono the nod of approval while sitting on the secret information that Jono is apparently bad in bed. Towel-giver or not, the bestie gives Jono her approval after 25 minutes of discussing Jono’s calmness.
Timothy appears to be wigging out which, in turn, wigs me out.
Timothy’s friend tells Lucinda that Timothy’s a protector and provider in a relationship, which, as we all know, is not what Lucinda has been getting from him.
“I absolutely know what I want and it’s a little bit bittersweet to say it, but at this stage I’m starting to realise I want a lot more for myself,” Lucinda says.
Did they end before they even started? FML.
Eden and Jayden are catching up with the fam and, don’t get me wrong, the return of Season Nine’s Mitch Eynaud was a novelty at first, but third time’s not a charm for me tonight.
Unless he’s doing a naked handstand in the shower or cursing in a skivvy, he is no longer giving me the entertainment value I need.
Back in Perth, Lauren and Jono have rooted for the first time since their honeymoon. Why do I feel like I’ve seen an image similar to this one before?
Timothy’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and Lucinda is patient and understanding as usual. He wants alone time.
“The best thing I can do is just leave him be a bit today,” she explains. But he’s been gone far longer than she anticipated.
He’s also out with a friend, which shows to Lucinda that he didn’t need alone time at all, just time away from her.
She wants someone who is “willing and wanting” to do life with her. She feels abandoned and disappointed, and doesn’t know “where to go from here”.
It appears to be the next day and they appear to be fake camping.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“Tim, you haven’t let me in,” Lucinda tells him, explaining that she feels hurt about last night and feels like a hindrance.
“I get that it’s tough for you, but at the same time I need to have fun,” Lucinda explains.
“Be free and just be happy because it ain’t my life,” Timothy responds. It feels like he’s been waiting for this out. “I’ve got problems I don’t need to look for them.”
He doesn’t think Lucinda understands and tells her that he’s not into “this emotional journey” that he’s started on.
“It’s confronting, it’s just not comfortable for me,” Timothy says.
“I don’t know what to say, I’ve got no words,” he tells Lucinda as he walks off on her.
She tries to call out to him from the… campground. “I don’t want to fucking talk!!” he yells.
“Those gates around his heart and soul must be really lonely. What a sad state of affairs,” she cries to producers.
She says she’s disappointed but realises she deserves better than this.
“I’ve worked very hard to be the woman I am,” she explains.
“This is not what I want for me in a partnership. I am not going to superimpose myself on somebody who doesn’t celebrate or want me,” Lucinda continues.
“What I’m getting and what I’ve got to give, respectfully, it’s not for me.”
“I know that I have done my best,” she says as she walks off.
While I feel for Timothy and his heartbreaking experience with grief, I also respect Lucinda for walking away. She’s helped Timothy tremendously over the last two months, but it’s time for him to help himself.
Because if he could only see what Lucinda saw in him, in himself, then maybe he’d be able to let someone as amazing as her in.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. Follow her on Instagram.
