It’s time for another MAFS Commitment Ceremony and all my extremities are crossed that Jack gets taken to fucking town tonight — strap in for the MAFS 2024 Episode 17 recap.
Everyone’s recovering from witnessing misogyny right in front of their salad after Jack told Jono to “muzzle” Lauren.
But not Jack! He’s glad he said what he did to Lauren and reckons “it felt good”.
So glad this situation is getting even worse than it already is (that was sarcasm). If I see one more person in Season 11 do something fucked up and not regret it, I may lose my faith in human kind.
“She was revving me up so the time was right,” Jack said.
He’s sad that this situation has dampened Tori‘s birthday. Maybe don’t offer “your woman” up for sex with another groom if you don’t want to ruin her birthday? And every day before and after it?
Lauren and Jono have spent the night separately after, in her words, he hung her out to dry at the dinner party.
It’s MAFS Commitment Ceremony time and they definitely haven’t saved the best until last because Timothy and Lucinda are up first.
Lucinda is looking divine as per, and tells the experts that they ended up at stripper’s bar where she had tits and ass in her face.
MAFS expert Alessandra Rampolla says their relationship sounds like a nice friendship. Lucinda couldn’t agree more and says she doesn’t feel desired by Timothy.
Timothy says he sees some potential to fall in love and out of the friendship, but in the same breath tells Alessandra he never felt the urge to kiss her or touch her or hold her hand this week.
They both choose to stay, but Alessandra doesn’t know why they would when nothing is happening here — all of five weeks in.
Timothy feels like Lucinda is throwing him under the bus on the couch tonight by agreeing with the experts (I think).
Jayden jumps in to tell Timothy that this “is a marriage experiment, man, not a friendship experiment.” This does not sit well with Timothy — at all — who tells the young Paddle Pop Lion that he’s fully aware of the MAFS concept he’s a part off.
“I get it and I don’t need advice from you,” Timothy bites. Who else laughed?
“Comparing our marriages bro, you do,” Jayden responds.
Now Timothy’s questioning why he wrote stay.
“If you do nothing different [moving forward], frankly I’d rather you leave,” says John Aiken.
Tim is well and truly off it. I’m just going to leave the next interaction for you below in visual form.
John can see what’s happening and warns Timothy that if he holds grudges then this relationship is over. John has faith in Timothy to break old patterns.
“It’s going to be an interesting week, guys,” Lucinda laughs and I get she’s uncomfortable and trying to make the situation more comfortable, but I don’t think that would’ve gone down well in old mate’s head.
Jayden and Eden are up. They better bloody bring all the romance after what Jayden just said during Timothy’s session.
He says he’s never felt this way about a partner before and why does that make me stressed rather than adore this union? I think we all know why.
They confirm they’ve fucked, which is weird because I thought this had already happened for Jayden and Eden. It’s interesting considering the other MAFS couples are copping it for not engaging in hanky panky.
Tim and Sara are up and to show everyone they’ve recovered from the Spicy Wifey yelling match. They both stay.
Jade and Ridge are up on the couch and very happy. Aren’t one-week relationships fun? Report back when you actually know each other! Ridge is as happy as “a pig in shit” so he’ll be staying. So will Jade.
Tristan and Cassandra are up and Tristan says they’re “not doing good”.
Tristan thinks they could be in the friend zone forever. Cass is confused because Tristan’s everything she wants in a husband and thinks there is potential in this relationship.
Cassandra wrote stay but Tristan says he doesn’t want to waste any more of her time and wrote leave. Wha–?
Cassandra is wildly and understandably emotional about this decision.
MAFS expert Mel Schilling asks Tristan if he’s getting in his own head.
Cassandra, once again, confirms she’s attracted to Tristan. He feels like “a tool” and wants to grovel for the rest of eternity to make up for this lapse in judgement.
Mel encourages them to kiss on the couch like we are in Grade 6.
Stephen and Michael are up and say there’s good communication here but that Stephen’s guarded.
Stephen confirms that finding out about the OG groom has planted the seed of doubt in his mind, and he wonders if Michael looks at him and wishes he was someone else. I could cry.
John tells Stephen he found someone “better” for Michael, not a replacement.
Stephen agrees Michael has been “patient” and “awesome” and they both choose to stay.
Ellie and Ben are up next and I forgot all about this boring-ass couple tbh. Ellie’s nervous to be up on the couch tonight and feels like she’s not getting the authentic Ben.
“I feel like you’re trying to control the narrative and in turn you’re kind of controlling… me,” Ellie says. “I feel like I’m losing my voice.”
Why does it feel like she’s publicly breaking up with him right here and now?
John asks Ben how he feels about Ellie’s comments. He says it hurts but… the only thing that looks like it’s hurting is his anoos.
He says that certain situations bring out certain behaviours and much like John and the rest of the viewers at home, I do not understand what he is spitting out.
Ben writes stay but I’m going to need him to do less moving forward.
Ellie wrote leave! Second person tonight! Producers must’ve been like, “There’s intruders now so we will no longer manipulate you into staying.”
Andrea and Dicky are up and Mel notices that Andie’s a bit quiet.
She’s feeling uncomfortable about the way Richard spoke about their sex life so openly during last week’s Commitment Ceremony and felt disrespected. To refresh your memory, half of it was bleeped out, but it felt like he said, “We gazed. We sucked. We fucked.”
Dicky’s gutted that Andie’s put up a wall and says things aren’t the same anymore.
She still wants this relationship to work and does feel like Dicky is a good man, which Dicky says he doesn’t hear so much in his life.
Dicky decides to stay, and Andie breaks out in song for her decision, belting out ‘Stay’ by Sam Smith.
Madeleine and Ash are up and this should be… weird?
Ash tells the MAFS experts that he’s struggling to connect to someone who cries over eating cows and threatens to expose what he did at the Debutante.
He’s not here to “have potatoes at dinner parties” and wants to find love. They truly look like they hate each other but Ash decides to stay.
Madeline once again shocks the nation by writing leave at her very first Commitment Ceremony.
“Life is weird. It is,” Madeleine tells whoever will listen.
“I think the universe pulls us to do things.”
I believe this means that a ghost told her to do this, but I can’t be too sure.
Ash says that this next week ahead “can’t be any worse” than what they’ve already been through. Wow! Love that Ash is just owning how fucking weird the union is now instead of just looking like he’s done a shart.
Jono and Lauren are up and I’m ready for John to say his piece.
“I saw a dinner party last night that I didn’t like. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it and I’m going to hold people accountable,” John warns. Yay!
Jono admits that he didn’t have Lauren’s back last night and that everything she said (about what Jack said about Tori) was true.
He proceeds to say there was miscommunication between Jack and himself. Then he says happy birthday to Tori and that he hopes this ordeal didn’t ruin it.
“What the fuck?” Lauren remarks.
John tells Jono that this is “unacceptable” and wants to know why he’s apologising.
He says he felt responsible for ruining their night and that he didn’t realise Lauren would bring it up in the way she did. Ummmm… I thought she was very clear in the car ride over?
“I feel like you’re apologising for ‘your woman’ getting loud,” says Lauren, noting that she felt she was in the right at the dinner party.
John asks how Lauren felt about the “muzzle” comment from Jack.
She found it degrading and wanted to be backed by her husband. John tells Jono that his effort to defend Lauren was “not good enough”.
“If someone said that to me about my wife, I would not back down,” John tells Jono.
Then John turns to the other men who stayed silent during that comment. YES JOHN.
Ben said he didn’t have enough context around the conversation, which has riled Alessandra up.
John demands the men call out sexism and misogyny in future before warning Jack that his turn to be scolded is incoming.
Jono feels like shit and regrets his actions last night. He wants the opportunity to make it up to Lauren.
They both choose to stay and try and move past it. I can see Lauren holding in the tears and my heart breaks for her. Jack has seemingly belittled her and this relationship to a point where she’s fragile.
Next up is Jack and Tori and this better deliver.
“I’ve heard some things in this experiment that have repulsed me. That was one of the worst things I’ve heard,” John tells Jack about the “muzzle” comment.
“Yeah, I’m ashamed,” Jack says.
“I’ve lost sleep over it.”
Um, bull-fucking-shit? You said earlier that it felt good saying it?
Mel asks why he degraded a woman.
“I snapped at the expense of Lauren,” he responds, adding that he’s never said “muzzle” to another woman before.
Mel tells Tori that she has now seen his attitude towards women and his relationship with women.
“I don’t agree with that,” Tori responds.
“When you’re in a heightened state of anger or emotion, you say what’s in the top of your head,” Tori adds.
This literally hurts to watch.
“It was disgusting but it doesn’t come natural for Jack to talk like that.”
Mel disagrees and said it seems like a reflex.
“What if he’d said it you?” Mel pushes.
“I would’ve snapped,” Tori responds.
Tori and Jack are still denying that Jack ever said he’s not attracted to her. Mel quite literally rolls her eyes.
Alessandra says they would’ve likely had sex by now if he was attracted to her, and that attraction AKA wanting to have sex is the difference between friendship and relationships.
Like clockwork, Jack’s “probably there” and ready to have sex with his wife.
SHUT UP.
It’s time to dissect the couple swap comment, where Jack suggested his wife have sex with another MAFS groom.
Jack thinks it’s “disgusting to talk about it in this setting”. Um, yeah, and every other setting, doll.
Mel asks Tori if Jack “offering” her up is part of the dark humour they have together.
“When you put it like that, it actually makes me feel physically sick,” Tori says to Mel.
“Which is what happened to me last night,” comments Alessandra.
They’ve both written stay, but John suggests that Jack changes his entire personality moving forward.
What I want to know is, if Jack didn’t get kicked out for this, what the hell happens that’s worse than this?
OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Tori and Jack are still at the Commitment Ceremony after everyone’s left and it looks like they think the cameras have stopped rolling?
“I’m still taking you home,” Jack tells Tori.
“Kinda have to,” she responds. “I don’t have a key.”
He then says that the experts were trying to get Tori to turn on him, but that she didn’t, and that some days are worse than others in this experiment.
There are so many ways to dissect what happened here but I have neither the brain cells nor the energy.
Next episode it’s time to meet the family and friends. Mitch Eynaud is back! Tori’s best friend, Lea, is back! UM I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET LUCINDA’S DAD.
It’s family and friends week and Mitch, Lea and OMG I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET LUCINDA’S DAD.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. You can follow her on Instagram here.
