Another impeccable trash season of Love Island approaches, in which a handful of horny Instagram models entertain us for weeks on end. It all begins on October 7, less than a week away so it’s time to prepare… and by prepare I mean stalk all their IGs.
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Vanessa
First up is 24-year-old Vanessa from Sydney. She’s a businesswoman, which is vague as hell but let’s just go with it. Her ideal man is someone who has an “attractive face and looks after himself.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/By4KDJvFtu2/
Cartiér
What a name.
Cartiér is a 19-year-old lifeguard from Sydney with old-fashioned values and morals. She will consider it a “blessing” if she finds love on the show. Same.
Verbatim quote from Nine: “I’m in love with Jesus but there is room for someone else.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/ByIGM96hAMp/
Cassie
Cassie is a 26-year-old executive assistant hailing from Sydney. She’s searching for “the real deal” and a man who can “keep her on her toes.”
Cynthia
Cynthia is a 23-year-old model from Brissy. She’s looking for a rugged man with a strong sense of self and quiet confidence. And Love Island is the perfect place for men with quiet confidence. Bonne chance, Cynthia.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B12kQoWlaUH/
Jessie
Up next is 23-year-old Jessie from Hobart. She’s a waitress, and is looking for The One. She’s into “strong, fit, and moderately tall men.”
Moderately tall.
Matthew
This bloke’s a 24-year-old wrestler/model from Melbourne. Matt’s looking for someone who looks like WWE star Nikki Bella because “she has every quality I look for in a woman.”
Lots of wrestling pics and vids on Matt’s Insta, if you’re keen on him and wrestling.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B03A_tuAiEP/
Gerard
Gerard is a 23-year-old personal trainer from Perth, and he just wants love.
“There is nothing I would call a certain deal breaker. Every relationship is a totally different situation and [I] would never judge someone before I know them.”
Gerard really likes to take nude pictures everywhere.
Adam
Here be a 27-year-old plasterer from the Goldy, who’s looking for a girlfriend but not someone from the Gold Coast. That is literally what Nine wrote in his description.
Adam is also a model, if his Insta is anything to go by.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJp9nmnhhm/
Eoghan
This lad’s a 23-year-old real estate agent from the Gold Coast, and he knows exactly what he wants. Eoghan is searching for a brunette who is fun, not rude, polite and extremely lady like.
“I want to put her on a pedestal like she is the only girl in the world.”
Maurice
Maurice is a 27-year-old business owner from Sydney. He has high expectations in a woman.
Again, verbatim: “A nice tan, sexy voluptuous girl with brown eyes and blemish-less skin.”
It looks like Maurice really likes Lightroom.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1CnQUYF9jO/
Sam
And lucky last is 28-year-old Sam, an international DJ from Melbourne. He’s after an assertive girl, and his celebrity crush is Sommer Ray. Cool!
Love Island premiers Monday, October 7 on Channel 9.
