There’s a bit of a good news-bad news situation with the announcement of the Love Island Australia season two cast this morning. The bad news? Those rumours about Jackson Warne don’t appear to be true, as he’s nowhere toeb seen. The good? The premiere is just over a week away, so that means we’ll get to meet all these horny  aspiring Instagram celebrities very soon.

Though there are ten islanders in the official image, there are eleven in total who we’ll be getting to know in the first episode. Let’s go through them now. From left to right in the above Love Island promo image, we have:

  • Cartier, 19, Lifeguard, NSW: A born-again Christian, Cartier says she has old-fashioned values and morals an will consider it a “blessing” if she finds love on the show
  • Jessie, 23, Waitress, Tassie: A former Miss Universe contender, Jessie describes her personality as “ditzy”
  • Vanessa, 24, Businesswoman, NSW: Describing herself as a “ride or die chick”, Vanessa is thirsting after a dude who goes to the gym
  • Cynthia, 23, Model, QLD: Cynthia is looking for a man with “quiet confidence” who doesn’t show off, so good luck, Cynthia
  • Cassie, 27, Executive Assistant, NSW: Cassie says she has “so many different personalities”, like a “random one” and a “sweet and innocent one”, and sounds like the embodiment of that ‘Sweet But Psycho‘ song

Over on the blokes’ side we have:

  • Eoghan, 24, Real Estate Agent, QLD: Mystery man Eoghan also claims to have “old-fashioned values”, whatever that means
  • Gerard, 23, Personal Trainer, WA: Gerard runs a personal training business and volunteer coaches a footy team for people with physical and mental disabilities and I have a crush on Gerard
  • Matt, 24, Wrestler/Model, NSW: Matt modeled with season one’s Justin Lacko in Milan, and also works as a wrestler under the name Charlie Matthews
  • Adam, 27, Plasterer, QLD: Adam describe himself as the “the token tattooed funny guy” and as he’s never had a “proper girlfriend”, so only improper ones I’m assuming
  • Sam, 28, DJ, Melbourne: Sam has played at after parties for the likes of Justin Bieber and Drake and probably wears those headphones to bed

Not pictured above for whatever reason is Maurice, 27, Media Executive, NSW: Maurice considers himself the “whole package” and is looking for a spiritual connection with a voluptuous girl.

Love Island season two premieres on October 7 at 8.45pm on Nine.