Yesterday, I delivered you the bittersweet news that Keanu Reeves appears to have a girlfriend, after he and a WOMAN were spotted holding hands at a red carpet event in Los Angeles. In case you for some reason don’t understand why this is bittersweet, it’s sweet for Keanu who we all adore and who has had a tough life and it’s bitter for us because WE ALL ADORE KEANU.

Ahem. Anyway, the woman in question is 46-year-old artist Alexandra Grant, who appeared to be very pleased indeed to be joining Keanu at said event.

Actual image of how smug I would look if I was holding hands with Keanu Reeves. Credit: Stefanie Keenan / Getty Images for LACMA

And why wouldn’t you be? The man is a delight. But I’ve done some research and found out that unfortunately for all of us jealous bitches, Alexandra also seems like a delight.

Here’s what I uncovered:

1. No, she is not Helen Mirren

20,000 comments on our story yesterday were like ‘lol is dat helen mirren lol’. Uncanny to think that more that one woman in the world can be attractive and sport grey hair! But I’m here to tell you it’s possible. It’s happened. This is not Helen Mirren, it’s Alexandra Grant. An entirely age-appropriate woman for 55-year-old Keanu to be dating.

Keanu Reeves
Pictured: Definitely not Helen Mirren. Credit: Axelle / Bauer-Griffin / FilmMagic

2. Alexandra Grant is talented

As someone who has maybe one (1) talent in this world (I’m really good at finding out what clothes TV characters are wearing and buying them for myself to wear in real life), I’m somewhat threatened by Alexandra Grant, who has many talents. The Daily Mail told me yesterday that Alexandra is a visual artist, and I went on Instagram for confirmation. Here it is!

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Alexandra Grant's "I was born to love (1)," 2019. Neon, acrylic and oil paint on shaped wood. 52" x 38 1/2" x 4". ✨ Via @lowellryanprojects: "Alexandra Grant's new neon works push the boundaries of her sculptural text practice onto the surface of a painting. The neon, which reads "I was born to love" in her signature mirrored language, refers to Antigone and that Greek heroine's resistance to the rule of her Uncle, the King of Thebes. Antigone, in the mess of life, stands for a higher law, love. Grant's combination of neon and gestural sculpture brings into question the notion of surface and the act of taking a stance." ✨ Currently on view in the backroom of Lowell Ryan Projects and by appointment. ✨ #alexandragrant #lowellryanprojects #iwasborntolove #iwasborntolovenottohate #neon #neonpainting #contemporaryart @leafcutterstudio @pingpongpaw ????

A post shared by Alexandra Grant studio (@alexandragrantstudio) on

The Mail says she creates work in mediums such as “sculpture, painting, drawing, and video”, which officially makes her a multi-talent and I hate it. But I’m happy for Keanu! *eye twitches*

3. They have collaborated on more than bumping uglies

I told you guys this yesterday, but Keanu and Alexandra have known each other for ages, and worked together on two books of poetry — which Keanu wrote (of course he did, swoon) and Alexandra illustrated — in 2011 and 2016. They also own a publishing house together called X Artists’ Books, which on its website says it is committed to producing “thoughtful, high-quality, artist-centred books that fit within and between genres”.

Keanu and Alex at an event – platonically! – in 2016. Credit: David M. Benett / Dave Benett / Getty Images

4. Keanu and Alexandra have been dating for “months”

As someone who thought maybe I would date Keanu Reeves at some point, this particular pill is a difficult one to swallow. People are quoting a source who says that the couple “started dating earlier this year, but have wanted to keep it quiet”. The LACMA event on the weekend wasn’t their first public appearance either, with paparazzi snaps I found in another Daily Mail story (but couldn’t afford to buy) showing them holding hands at in June at the Saint Laurent Men’s Spring Summer 20 in Malibu, as well as posing with their arms around each other in May at the MOCA Benefit 2019 in Los Angeles.

5. Keanu is now ready to go public

The same People article also says that after months of keeping it on the DL, Keanu now wants to flaunt his lady love around town. And why wouldn’t you, love is great! And she is cool. The “source” says: “Keanu wants to openly share his life with her. He is extremely happy and grateful to have Alex in his life.”

Keanu Reeves
Pictured: TWO CUTE PEOPLE IN LOVE. Credit: Taylor Hill / Getty Images

Okay it’s actually too much. No one deserves to be happy more than Keanu, a literal human angel on earth.

6. He must really like her

Daily Mail (I’ve really contributed to their daily traffic targets, huh) points out that Keanu has never taken a girlfriend on a red carpet, ever. In fact, the only lady he’s taken as his date to anything has been his mum or his sister. So this is serious and I concede defeat.

Love this for them <3.

Image: Getty Images / Taylor Hill