We’re all Kath & Kim, in a way. It seems not a day goes by where Fountain Lakes’ finest haven’t already epitomised a moment with their botched one-liners. What better way to reflect on our cursed and chaotic year so far, then, than by dusting off the best Kath & Kim quotes.
The rules are simple. The quote must be directly applicable to the chaos at hand, whether that’s dealing with lockdown boredom or panicking over a cold. And of course, it must be an iconic Kath & Kim moment.
That’s no easy task for a show filmed a good 15-20 years ago, and yet somehow, it pulls through. This year really has gone down the toot, after all.
Crack open the Tia Maria and put on some footy franks, because here are the most timeless quips and quotes from Kath Day-Knight, Kimberly Craig and everyone else who’s crossed their paths.
10. “Better get cracking on some of those important projects of mine.” ——— Kath
We’ve all had this reaction once, and for those of us in Melbourne, twice.
Lockdown’s supposed to be the perfect time to finally do all that shit you’ve put off for years. Except here you are, reading rankings of Kath & Kim quotes.
9. “I’m not a housewife, I’m a hornbag.” ——— Kim
Some of us adjusted better than others to our new stay-at-home personas.
Being stuck at home with fuck-all to do has presented two paths for many of us: cooking and cleaning, or finding new and innovative ways to get your fucc on. Both are good options.
8. “I lost weight the old fashioned way… laxatives and smokes.” ——— Kim
As Kath famously said, it doesn’t make you a crim to keep yourself trim.
Anyone expecting to put on a few kilos over winter probably got more than they bargained for, with physical activity so difficult atm. Never fear, because Kim’s already got a diet figured out.
7. “I just want to go bush, you know, somewhere off the beaten track…. Noosa.” ——— Prue (or Trude?!)
Domestic travel is all the rage, for obvious reasons.
With everyone brainstorming their next weekend getaway or road trip with mates, there are a noticeable handful of us who can’t help making it a little bit extra.
Greysh idea for the school holidays!!???? pic.twitter.com/TV0F9iMshP— Kath & Kim (@kathandkim) June 26, 2020
6. “Where pacifically in the specific were you gonna go, Mrs D?” ——— Sharon
This is the one dilemma on everyone’s mind whenever talk of a Pacific travel bubble crops up.
When borders finally do open up, we’ll have a choice of either the Pacific or… the Pacific. Best to start now trying to choose somewhere more specific.
5. “If it’s not Dotti or Witchery, don’t talk to me.” ——— Kim
Ah yes, channeling all that pent-up energy on shopping for brands you’ll never wear anyway.
Whomst among us hasn’t maxed out a credit card or two in iso? Gotta pass the time somehow.
4. “You know, I didn’t realise Jesus was so buff. Spunk.” ——— Kath
This year has been the year of letting your mind… wander.
Sometimes when you’re deprived of human interaction, you have some weird epiphanies.
3. “For your information I do have a date! A sticky date!” ——— Kim
It seemed like a myth, and yet many of us have run out of people to swipe through on dating apps.
At the same time, no pandemic can stop you from treating yourself, whether that means binging on Kath & Kim quotes or substituting a sticky date for a real-life date (the human kind).
2. “Some second-best friend you turned out to be.” ——— Kim
It’s OK to admit you subconsciously rank your mates.
I may or may not have said this exactly quote to my second-best friend after being stood up at an online Houseparty gatho. Shocker of a year, I tell ya.
1. “You know what I miss, mum? Going to the pub and getting literally legless.” ——— Kim
Do your ears also pique up whenever someone mentions the pub?
It’s safe to say a good half of the country has already recited this quote verbatim. Unknowingly, of course.