It’s another sunny Monday morning here in Townsville, and all is peaceful and calm. The Powerpuff Girls are still blissfully asleep, and the city is in no way under attack. But wait! What’s this? Chrissy Teigen ate a suspicious-looking orange and her lips are now twice the size? Well, fuck, guess we can’t have peace.
Yes, it’s true, Chrissy Teigen has shared a fresh new pic of her massive fkn lips after apparently nibbling on the skin of a suspicious orange. I keep using the word suspicious because that’s how she described it, and my mind is going wild trying to imagine what ungodly thing she ate.
I know eating the skin of a kiwi is normal (I do it every time), but I haven’t really heard of eating orange skin. I guess this is what happens when you do.
Teigen took to social media to show everyone her massive-ass lips, and stressed that it wasn’t a botched filler job, but instead the crafty work of some devilish fruit. Someone is going to make a TikTok challenge out of this, aren’t they?
“Lmao looking great!! Not filler fail – I’d tell you! I don’t give a shit” she wrote on Instagram.
“It happened after I bit the skin of a suspicious orange. Maybe pesticides on the outside? I look like a juicy blow-up doll, freshly unpacked.”
Have a squiz of the massive lips right here. They’re uh… not very hard to miss.
The comments underneath the pics range from the helpful “drink Benadryl” to “omg Bratz Doll!” So yeah, maybe the internet isn’t the most useful place for finding cures for your enlarged lips.
Recently Chrissy Teigen has been showing off her ‘luxury’ chocolate bars on TikTok, which have her family’s face all over the packaging, and look super cute. Flavours include banana bread and blueberry pancakes, which sound super yum.
However, according to Teigen, the people on TikTok are not very nice to her on the app. Come on Gen Z, let the woman just flaunt her chocolate online. It’s either that or more horrid lip pics.
I tokked and boy are they BRUTAL over there. Super mean, you think Twitter is bad lol pic.twitter.com/bm9j51hUO2
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 14, 2021
If you need me I’m going to be investigating the case of the suspicious orange. Scooby, you’re with me.